Thursday, October 24, 2019

October 24,2019


Binoculars and Biographies

“Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.” - Gertrude Stein
What is human intelligence: the intelligence of a small baby is so different than that of a MENSA member, is so different than the elderly with senile dementia. This peculiar entity of the animal homo sapiens, an animal with a backbone, with a mind and soul, so different from other animals who do not think or know that they are going to die. The genus homo sapiens, human being, even allows his soul to breathe: prayer, the greatest power of which a human mind can conceive.
    One of the greatest memories of my childhood, watching my grandmother in prayer. She would sit with her elbow propped on the arm of the rocking chair, hand to her face, her lips moving. This great lady never had her name in the newspaper as the important person of any type… Only her obituary. She never taught a class, never gave a lecture, I heard her speak at a family church house one time (Church built in 1864 by my great grandparents on both my mother and father’s side). Once a year, there was a business meeting at the church. When there was a roll call of all members, there was one girl in the community who had joined the church as a child and her name was still on the roll. She was the county whore, and everyone knew her reputation. I don’t believe she attended the church following her baptism in the fish pond. My grandmother stood and said, “If Rydell Sasser’s name stays on the church role, then you can take mine off.” My grandmother believed in a backdoor revival. It did not take FBI, SBI or a powerful telescope for her to know what was going on in the community.
    From the time that Galileo used his little telescope attempting to study stars from the balcony of the baptistery of the great cathedral at Pisa, Italy or from the time Leeuwenhoek used the microscope, men have brought knowledge from a desert of ignorance.
    Binoculars, once so expensive, now so available to anyone. Nothing is more important in warfare than binoculars. The Native American Indian brave could put his ear to the ground and determine very accurately the number of buffalo in a herd many miles away. The same brave could look at mountain peaks many miles away and read smoke signals. Those of us in the military learned early that the enemy had binoculars, they enjoyed killing officers, especially medical officers. The officer wears his rank and medical insignia on his shirt collar. You learn early to turn your shirt collar under. We live in a world of fake-deceitful news media. It is difficult to believe anything on the news or read in the newspaper. We have learned to make records of everything we say. President Richard Nixon left 800 miles of tapes which he recorded in his office of foreign leaders, associates, friends, as well as foes.
In a world of political correctness, stolen identification, thievery of every type, you learn to protect yourself. BECAUSE if you could carry binoculars with you constantly and learn to “spot” signs of deceivers-fakers-pretenders like a “birdwatcher” (a birdwatcher identifies a particular bird by certain colors or other very distinctive markings), then we would not be so easily deceived by a very deceptive world. There are 32,300 verses of scripture in God’s word. There are 1189 chapters in the Bible. The chapter midway the Bible, Psalm 118, the 8th verse says, “Trust in the Lord and put no confidence in men.” It may be interesting to you that 117 Psalm is the shortest chapter in the Bible. The 119 Psalm is the longest chapter in the Bible. Every word in the answer book, the book which God took time to write for us tells us to trust God and to distrust our fellow man. This is particularly important to those that are disabled… Blind, no longer mentally alert, children have no choice but to trust adults. The shame of the ages living in a world where lust-greed-lack of morals is now so fully acceptable, even our children and elderly are so easily abused. This writer is totally blind, when I could see, I so enjoyed visiting graveyards, so interesting to observe a famous name or even one not so famous and look at the dash or hyphen between the date of birth and date of death, knowing it was in that space that your biography was written. People live their own eulogies; they live their own funeral. In a nation where there are more people in prison than any other nation in the world, where 9 billion dollars is spent to celebrate a satanic holiday (Halloween), can we understand why rotten sin has taken over the world, particularly our own country, a good name is no longer rather to be chosen than silver or gold (Proverbs 22:1). The mortality rate is still 100% and we do not know when God will say enough is enough. At the end, political influence, real estate, securities accounts will make no difference… Last breath here, first breath there. When will we learn that each day we live, just one day closer to Heaven or Hell. Trust is the greatest joy an individual can possess. I well remember the time where we could trust science, even science foundations. I well remember the time where could trust medicine, pharmacy, and all the allied healthcare professionals. Now, it is all a matter of money. One of my best friends, Robert Futrelle, was chief counsel to my local congressman (Robert was killed in a plane crash) he said to me, “Tom, the only interest in the congressional office is money… Raising money for the next election. Everyone squeezing as much money as possible from the big pot of federal funds. Our days are spent with lobbyists, from one cocktail party-buffet to another. The only time I ever saw our congressmen get excited was when he received a letter from some poor man, who did not have paper but rather wrote his letter on a brown paper sack.” He said, “Washington is just one big mafia pit of corruption.” Yet, like the phantom feelings, a human being feels in an amputated limb, we want to believe that all is well with our country. This old blind veteran, like the veterans in many VA hospitals, like the 116,000 buried on foreign soil, like the thousands buried in family graveyards across the footed plains, we do not have the binoculars, the telescope, the microscope, to accurately define our disease. I can think of only one definition of the disease afflicting my country, the same disease that has always affected the body, soul, and mind of mere mortals: sins ruined that can only be corrected by the redemption of Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

October/22/2019


Get Off the Treadmill

Get Off the Treadmill
Palliative Care (Relief)


Out of a fired ship, which by no way
But drowning could be rescued from the flame,
Some men leap'd forth, and ever as they came
Near the foes' ships, did by their shot decay;
So all were lost, which in the ship were found,
They in the sea being burnt, they in the burnt ship drown'd.
-  “A Burnt Ship” by John Donne


Your 87-year old writer, a totally-blind, 100% disabled veteran now cancer spread over entire body, was told that I might have one year to live. SO, one who had been on the treadmill every day decided it was time to get off the treadmill.
And then, I decided it was no different from the so-called “fair-weather” friends who only can give me such wonderful advice as, “I’m praying for you.” They never realize that I need real help, cannot walk out the door without assistance. Like their church, like their civic club, like their vet group, “feel-gooders” with their “feel-gooder” churches and clubs. They’re Rotarians, “service above self.” I have never known any but a selfish Rotarian. I have never known anything but an indifferent Christian, just playing games with God, while, the poor, disabled, deaf and blind are more a witness to the grace of God then they could ever be. Every human being should know what it is like to stumble around in blackness for least one day, to get around in a wheelchair for just one day (Bathroom, dressing in clothing, preparing some food to eat). But their “normal” friends, along with their “do-gooder” groups “relieve themselves” by saying, “We will pray for you.” This is their palliative care. This is their method for helping you reach the end of your race. They get together and laugh, and sing, and perhaps even pray. They gorge themselves from a big buffet table. And, we wonder why young people, in a time of opioid hysteria, are so anxious to escape the church house.
The feel-good syndrome started at the church house, courthouse, schoolhouse, and promoted by civic clubs, and even vet and country clubs. Float above the common sicknesses (Physical and mental), going on all around them. One of my wealthy, neer-do-well, “concerned” friends in a brief respite from the golf course said, “I pay too much tax to have empathy for anyone. His time will come.”
There is always a fog after the diagnosis, the diagnosis of total blindness, the diagnosis of spreading cancer. BUT, never such a fog as I experienced this week when I learned that a young man working for me, who I trusted had put thousands of dollars on my credit card, wired thousands of dollars from my bank account, had an app on his cellphone so that he could charge anything to my bank account or credit card.
And, a week when I learned about the thievery of an employee, my realtor goes into my beach rental house and finds that someone has been using and trashing my house, actually set my kitchen on fire (evidently trying to cook). So now, a house to be reconstructed, easier than reconstructing the heart of a young man, or the souls of “feel-gooders-do-gooders”, with which our lives are afflicted.
Those of us who are disabled must trust people. In this time of Medicaid fraud, entitlements, it is difficult to even trust healthcare professionals, when they tell you, you only have a short time to live, you know down, deep inside, that they really don’t care, just make sure your bill is paid before your exit (You cannot live on Pill Hill, have two Mercedes in the driveway, children going to every type of proficiency class, whether dancing or fencing, unless the patient pays his exorbitant bill, doctor’s wives do not shop at thrift stores) and, if you are a victim of divorce, and you have as vicious a wife as I had, (Church-goer with a doctorate) most of the time she has turned your child and grandchildren against you, so don’t expect any palliative care from them (This 87-year old divorced father of one has never received the first gift at any holiday or birthday… Not the first cookie when he visited). This is the world in which we live. Oh, the games people play.
Before God can use a man, he must crush him. But, clinging to the cross, our joy comes in redemption-forgiveness, knowing the reconstruction after the battle is over.
If I were not a Christian, a world of blackness, a world of pain from cancer, a world of young people taking advantage of the old, I would have ended it all long ago. How did the Jews in the death camps of Nazi Germany hold on, and some did, the oldest are dying now. One said, “We knew that at any time, we could end it all, by just starting to run towards the fence… One of the guards in the guard tower would shoot us dead at once.” But, they stayed the course. If they could stay the course, certainly the Christian, knowing what we have waiting, can endure to the end. “But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved” (Matthew 24:13).
Anytime you hear ANYONE talk about their civic club or their church… Just remember.... 1 hour a week as a “do-gooder” at a civic club OR, 1 hour a week at the church as a  “feel-gooder.” Then, think of the thousands in nursing homes, retirement homes, or private homes, who so desperately need palliative care… And how much better their time could be spent doing God’s work, instead of singing, talking, or planning God’s work.

Friday, October 18, 2019

October 18, 2019


The Inner Life

Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star,
     And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
     When I put out to sea,

  But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
     Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
     Turns again home.
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The greatest chasm in the world is that great distance between what we know and what we do. It is like that 14 inches, perhaps the greatest distance between the heart and the brain. Christians know their own poverty, they just look to Jesus for their needs.
It is a week like this that we realize again just how fragile life really is. There are 20 million legal gun sales each year.
Try this in a real conversation with someone, “Can you tell that my life shows that I am a real follower of ‘the way’?” The man who did the slaughter of so many people in Las Vegas was said, by his own family, not to have any real religious convictions or interested in politics. He had evidently escaped in this so-called Christian nation, every evidence of integrity and morality, and we continue to ask, “Why are so many human beings killed in a slaughter such as this, or the every week slaughter in Chicago?” Once, in Korea, where the weather can get so cold (during the Korean War, near the Chosin reservoir, dead-frozen American bodies were stacked like cordwood, it was said that one man went into the mountains where he found most of the people barefoot. He asked the question, “Why don’t you people have shoes in this cold and ice?” One said, “It takes money to buy shoes, and we do not have money.” He said, “Do you not have a job?” “Oh,” the other replied, “We all have jobs. We work in a shoe factory.” And so it is in this land of the free, home of the brave, as our president said, “Criminal evil and most church people are not very concerned.” What the eye does not see, those in the pews and pulpit do not grieve over. For several generations, we have taught our young people to be nice, to be tolerant, to be politically correct… Facts do not matter, it is only feeling and fairness that count. We try to make Jesus a man of the age we live in, God has not promised to forgive one sin you are not willing to forsake and many times we must reach down further than we are willing to go… Encouragement, forgiveness.
Carl was a 24-year-old, very intelligent young man, who came to work for me. He was very upfront about his illness, the fact that he had AIDS, this was in the beginning of the AIDS epidemic… People knew very little about the bacteria. I believe the strangest question anyone ever asked me, he asked me after he had talked with me about his impending death, “Would you help me to commit suicide?”
I could well understand Carl’s dilemma, once a favorite among his friends, now shunned by everyone, including his own family. He said he went to visit his sister, and she kept his glass and dishes apart from her others, so afraid, was she of catching his disease. When Carl died in a hospital, his mother called me that she was having such difficult time finding a funeral home to bury the body. She found a local mortician in a small nearby town, who said they would come and put the body in a casket, and bury it, but would have nothing to do with the services or even embalming, so Carl was buried in a grave, still very much alone… No family, no friends, in attendance.
Another good friend, Katherine (Katherine Vasolue), I met because we were both great talk-show addicts… Talking on talk-shows coast to coast. Larry King, the famous talk-show host, said Katherine was the brightest female he had ever known. Katherine was an only child, born blind, she went to the school for the blind and onto to graduate at two universities. She returned here, her home, so she could care for her aging mother and father (he, a WWII veteran). She supported her family by working at a local hospital, typing records. She would go home and care for her parents until their deaths. I asked her once, “Did anyone in this town ever do anything for you or your parents in that long time of sickness?” She said that when her mother died, one church brought by some food, and the local newspaper took up a collection to help bury her mother… Never anything at Christmas, or any holiday. She said I have already given my lawyer and the funeral home instructions, “When I die there is to be nothing. No services, anything. Just bury me next to my parents.” And that is what happened… One of the brightest women I ever knew, bringing joy to millions coast to coast, by her very spectacular voice on the radio. Katherine had a seeing-eye dog named Elma. One day, one of our fine citizens, hit with her car, Katherine and Elma in the street, killed Elma, the car never even slowed down.  

Our values-inspirations are so confused. We just had the world’s oldest and richest pimp die (Hugh Hefner). I was amazed at this purveyor of pornography was so remembered in such a grand and glorious way by news media. We are so concerned about our social standing at cocktail parties, our houses, our cars, the clothing we wear. In one of our state’s largest stores, labels would be cut out of expensive clothing so they could be attached to cheaper clothing, so important is an appearance, social standing, the need to impress. The people in Las Vegas, or even Afghanistan, the mortality rate is still 100%. We are all going to die, the only thing left behind; our culture.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

October 15, 2019

Not on this Field

Soft comes the hush of eventide
And songbirds hide
In limbs of budded trees
To bid farewell to setting sun
With lullabies they've sung
Each night for centuries.

A lark is winging swiftly home -
Black dot alone -
Beneath auroral clouds.
All nature makes a homeward rush
As twilight's rosy blush
The eyes of night arouse.
- “Twilight” by Margaret Yacavace

The only way the news media, the democrat party, the ACOU can succeed in controlling the First Amendment of our marvelous constitution, pertain to birth control, abortion or differences in gender is to eradicate the conscience of mankind. The communist-liberals do not want more poor people, more minorities to exist, they want to control. This is why Margaret Sanger, her book on Eugenics (Margaret was a friend of Adolf Hitler), called black people, “weeds”. It is amazing that the very organization she founded, Planned Parenthood, is now supported by blacks and the poor, and the liberals. They should have told her ilk, long ago, “We will not play on this field.” We live in a world of absolutes, right and wrong, sour and sweet, good and evil, God told us long ago you cannot get sweet and bitter from the same well. “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter,” (James 3:11).
In the community where the writer was reared, his parents, grandparents, great grandparents before him, on both sides, at the crossroads, not far from my grandfather’s plantation home, the large two-room schoolhouse which my mother attended as a child… With its belfry for a bell, outside-toilets, and a hand pump for drinking water. My mother’s great aunt, for whom she was named, was the teacher. Back of this large schoolhouse, owned by the county, still standing, was a large ballfield and right on to this day, was well-known for ball teams that play in this ballfield. I have talked about before, my cousin’s general store, here at this crossroads, and, since he owned most of the land around this ballfield, and, since he profited at the ballgames, he had built bleachers behind home-plate. My great uncle was coach of the local ball team.
But, one Saturday afternoon, when a visiting team came, they refused to play on the field, because the field has not been prepared. The cows had been tethered to eat grass on the field. Young men do not want to fall in cow manure when catching a ball, so the coach of the visiting team said they would not play on that field. The game was transferred to the high school about a mile away where there was a better playing field… I believe the only time it ever happened. Because the local team took care to scrape and prepare the ballfield from then on. There are defects in the “mind-fields” of many people. There are more slaves in Muslim countries than any other nations in the world. Islam has always been a religion of warfare, Muhammed owned the slaves and believed in warfare. America’s own military started with a navy that had to fight Muslim bandits along the North African coast, “shores of Tripoli.” Our national anthem, Star Spangled Banner, is about freedom. But, even today, “Reverend” Al Sharpton promotes a plantation mentality, the Democrat party supported almost 100% by those who would be enslaved… Enshrined civil rights… By justice, Sharpton would be in jail for tax evasion. We have found that liberals and conservatives, minorities, religious and political antagonists, have trouble playing on the same field.
This writer has been in mosques, where only the men are kneeling inside, women are kept out. Early Christian churches, found it “proper” to seat men on the right side of the church, women on the left. It was only in the amen corner, near the pulpit, that old couples sat together. I can still see cousin Connie and Zelphia, cousin Bet and Ernest, cousin Mary and Will, cousin Cassy and Luther, and my own grandparents in the amen corner. But eventually, they all came together. Not so, in the Qu’ran, or the Muslim faith.
If a disciple of Jesus is not journeying to serve, there is no reason for the trip. As the “mother goose” book said, “If you do not where you are going, it makes no difference which road you take.” If we are all just impulse buying, just jumping from one collection to another… Politics-religion-civic or other responsibilities, liberal fascism, then we need to get grounded in some fundamental truths. Truth is truth whether anyone believes it or not, and Jesus told us that he is truth. This is one field on which we can play, with certainty and with confidence. I believe that faith is a verb, “Action based on belief, sustained by confidence.” Your blind writer has walked by faith, not by sight. Christianity is not complicated, just tough. It is not easy to turn the other cheek, to forgive as Jesus forgave, to love your neighbor as yourself. I have some neighbors whom I cannot believe anyone would love… Such as the child abusers across the street, such as the women who can talk so sweet to their dogs, and have nothing but hatred to express toward other human beings. Were things any worse before Noah’s flood? Is there any spirit of awakening when we see mass killings such as Las Vegas, fires such as in California, hurricanes such as in Texas and Florida. Do we actually believe that God will not permeate our field of dreams, our field of ambition, our field of good health or wealth?

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

October 9, 2019


Selling Short


Short selling is the sale of a security that is not owned by the seller, or that the seller has borrowed. Short selling is motivated by the belief that a security's price will decline, enabling it to be bought back at a lower price to make a profit.

A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?


The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.


I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.


I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.


I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.


If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.
-Do you love me? By Rumi

An English word etymologist came up with the ten most used words in the English vocabulary. The most bitter word, alone. Have we ever even considered the loneliness in the mind of human beings (The only animals who can think), who are disabled (Blind, deaf, crippled, mentally handicapped), those who are in pain, those who are confused, sensitive, different. Have you ever considered how lonely the unusual mind, one who is Christ-centered, one who is careful in his spending and investing (The careful investor is called by his family and friends; tightwad, frugal, they do not understand that any successful entrepreneur-business man-investor, learns early in life that dimes make dollars and that dollars take care of themselves).
It is a blessed person who can find one other human being with which to share his spiritual faith. One with whom he can pray, one with whom he can freely discuss commitment and concern for God’s word. All the world is full of pretenders, fakers, even in pulpits, who speak the language (You can teach a parrot to talk, but you learn so quickly those who are in genuine in their confidence), the airways are full of Christian radio, mostly Sunday morning sermons from well known preachers, mostly “canned” music that any station, any person can purchase. There are many political radio talk-shows where convinced-concerned people can call and express their passion: very few Christian talk-shows (James Dodson, one of the few). This writer has learned that Catholic radio has real-genuine Christian talk-shows…Capable hosts who can disentangle many false impressions who actually know and promote the Christian message-the gospel. Don’t sell Catholic talk-shows short, simply because you do not believe everything in the Catholic dogma. I hear just as much debatable theology from Evangelical pulpits. Why are there over 20,000 different Evangelical denominations… And those who are really trodden upon, declare themselves as non-denomination. In the Christian message, the true gospel, there should be no confusion: “Sins ruin in Christ’s redemption.” These words have been spoken by me in blogs for many years, and yet, I feel so alone in my conviction.
DON’T SELL SHORT those of us who are not like you. Just because a person is blind, disabled in some other way, not as attuned as you are in love with this “present” world does not mean we cannot participate.
I never cease to be amazed when I go into a restaurant with a friend, and of course, I have to be with one because I am totally blind, the server never puts a menu in front of me, because she assumes that if blind, dumb. Never forget that no matter your disability, your illness, the person you are talking to can always come up with someone in worse condition.
Human effort has failed to solve America’s problems… Isn’t it amazing the mess that normal people can make? My very good friend, Dr. John East, professor, later a United States senator, in a wheelchair from youth, who was called a cripple on the floor of the US Senate. He once said to me, “The disabled life is hardly worth living… We get none of the joys and advantages that our “normal” friends enjoy and aspire.” He later killed himself.
The first time I was in Russia, walking with a friend of mine, who was an official of WOR-TV, New York City, we both remarked about the number of drunks in Russia. By the time we left, we had decided that anyone, in order to live in that god-forsaken country, USSR, would have to stay drunk. Don’t sell short those who from no cause of their own, are victimized by the extravagances that they visit upon others. Don’t sell short children from homes of abuse, wives living with husbands of abuse, young people who carry around in their brain the confusion of sexual dilemma (The great actress, Betty Davis, said “Sexy is the biggest joke God played on mankind”). Don’t sell short those who in an attempt to escape, look to prescription drugs for rescue: the bottom of a liquor bottle: overeating-overspending-over leisure (Why do so many young people find escape in video games?) There is a chasm of loneliness in their mind, that only God in his tender mercy can fill.
Your mind is very alone in a world of business and confusion. You must have something to hold onto, such as the words of the one who, through the stars and space, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

October 8, 2019

Will-o'-the-wisp And Rush Week


           
"For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him."

            You would think that I am smarter than that, but there are days when I am so overwhelmed with the "the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful" (Mark 4:19). Even this commited, convinced, concerned, real Christian man falls into the paroxysm that effects so many men...earth travelers. We want God to fit into our world, rather than staying in God's world. We live in a world of "likeness," just floating...letting Satan fill our souls with doubts and fears.
            Anyone who has ever had an answer to prayer knows that his life is never the same again. Perhaps my first real answer to prayer, it was not a matter of extreme anything, such as a near death experience; I was a freshman student fighting the battle of conjured fears at the University (UNCCH), who had come from poverty in impoverished Eastern North Carolina. I was unprepared for any college experience, in having to compete with young men from wealthy homes with superior preparation in large prep schools. Yet, in order for me to remain a student, I had to work and pay my own expenses. I could take you to the spot, a stone fence at the rear of the Wilson library, just across from the Bell tower; I had not eaten for two days, I know what it is like to be hungry and penniless. I asked God to arrange for me to go home where I knew there was food on the table of my poor country house, or arrange for me to have things a little better. He said to me, almost audible, "In that medical school where you work, those large leather chairs in the library, money falls out of men's pockets." That night, on the job working in this library, I searched those chairs and found so many coins...quarters and fifty cent pieces. I was able to eat until payday, when I got my check for working at the University. This same thing has happened over and over throughout my life...even in this world of blackness I live in after losing my eyesight. Why don't we believe him when he tells us (those who believe in him) "[Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5).
        Just think, the one who created the world and everything in it, who threw the stars into space, he actually cares about my welfare....cares about my every thought on this earth; and then, almost beyond comprehension, desires a relationship with me forever. There are those in this world who would burn a city down in order to rule it, who believe in killing even the most innocent babies as population control or as a matter of convenience; even ravaging innocent, developing children whose lives are measured by greed...and think they are successful.
            It seems almost incomprehensible that God, in his mercy, would choose a country boy from "nowhere" to travel EVERYWHERE. He wanted me to sense this great Earth, and be willing to tell you all about it. He knew that in my life experience, I had known so many children who had never enjoyed a nice piece of cake, had seen so many adults who had never worn a proper fitting pair of shoes. I still remember old men in the poor community where I was raised wearing shoes that were sliced in many places to accommodate growing feet and bunions acquired by the ill-fitting shoes. He wanted me to tell you about children in Africa and Asia whose parents had chopped off their limbs in order to make them "professional beggars" (their methods of survival).
            At the time, this same University, running/walking fast to get from one class to another while keeping up with my job, I would ponder what went on at the fancy fraternity houses where young men of my age were always having a party/enjoying life. One great writer once said, the purpose of college is to "network," to meet people, people who will/can help you. He failed to say that 90% of all the forces that effect your life are deceptive...that most of your friends are just pretenders. Perhaps I felt I was left out by the "technocrats" of rush week when the élites' sons of politicians and wealth chose their fraternity brothers for initiation. I now realize that so much of the selective/prestigious life is just will-o'-the-wisp...alluring/misleading, gratuitous...deceptive.

            This world is a matter of electricity. From the gravity of the two poles at either end of the Earth's surface (and I have traveled to both the North and South poles). Everything is a matter of gravitational forces, from the chemical equation to the power current that "lights up" the city, or the electricity of your body. When the electricity of your body dies, you are clinically dead. Life is more of a will-o'-the-wisp, an alluring fantasy. Chosen for life, every hair on your head is numbered, there is not a maverick molecule in your universe.