Reality Enigmatic Plunge At Eighty-Five

#1773

“We have shared the incommunicable experience of war, we have felt, we still feel, the passion of life to its top. In our youth our hearts were touched with fire.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

            When you reach the age of eighty-five, you no longer have fear of death. You no longer have the competitive spirit. You no longer have the fright of un-forgiveness. You have forgiven all those who have wronged you and if they do not accept such, they are on God's hook, after all, with mercy to spare God has forgiven me for all my rotten sins and if he can forgive "the chief of sinners" such as me, I can forgive others and ask forgiveness of others.. commission and omission.

 

            At eighty-five you have given up about your looks, about your ambitions, your relationships, you have learned not to be shocked at anything, to expect very little from the world and those who inhabit it. You realize how little you have affected those with whom you have come in contact. Those who should have been closest to you. Most were just pretending, like bureaucrats, politicians, even  the cashier at the grocery store, "have a good day," ALL were just going through the motions. You realize just how empty most phrases "I'm praying for you," and the death of a parent or friend, someone saying, "they are better off" (how do they know they are better off?) Or, some irrational statement, finding a needle in a hay-stack (most people have never seen a hay-stack, have no idea what it is like.) OR, "killing two birds with one stone" (those who would kill a bird or anything else have no idea about the intricacies of life... even bird life.) Some of these same people would vote for politicians or groups that are for planned parenthood, that would take the life of the most innocent. Most people I know have little concept of photosynthesis (plant life) or the homeostasis of animal life (clotting of blood, etc.) When my great grandparents were children the population of the United States was thirty-one million. Every time we pass a graveyard where these old people are buried, we should give them the honor of thinking about what they accomplished. Now, the population of the United States, three-hundred and fifteen million. Ninety million do not work, nearly fifty million on welfare, almost 200 million draw a government check of some sort.

 

          

In my lifetime, eighty-five years, I have seen America change completely. Just a small percentage of the population controls all the wealth (some say 1%.) Just a small percentage of the population pays all the taxes (some say 20%.) The middle class has largely become the working class, struggling for survival. The "talking box" in the living room, satanic fed desires for ease keeps from an early age, everyone dissatisfied with everything. The court house is over run by those with addictions. The school house has become a place for entertainment instead of education. The church house has become a battlefield for souls with the fight carried on from air-conditioned fox holes. Your house has become just a changing room or filling station. This world traveler (Doctor Morris' passport has been stamped in 157 countries, eight around the world trips... every continent) has see more commitment to false religions than committed-concerned-convinced-dedication to basic Christianity (in a so called Christian nation.) Most churches are just country clubs with steeples. In my days in speaking before civic clubs, I found more loyalty to civic club principles than I found at most Christian churches.

 

            I believe that the thing that bothers me the most, as most of us enjoy the comforts of 21st century living, just how little we appreciate what we have inherited... we are so busy picking flowers which we did not plant.  Never for one day has the poverty of my youth left my mind and not just me, all my family. We left the fundamental denomination of our forbearers of church house which did not have inside plumbing. We were embarrassed about our own homes, homes of love and understanding because of no inside plumbing... old drafty houses. We could not invite friends to our homes or our churches because they just might need to go to the bathroom. Most of our college educated friends had never seen an "out-house."

 

            This writer, like his parents-grandparents-great grandparents before him, followed his blessed Lord in baptism by being baptized in a fish pond (long before an inside baptistery was installed into our country church.) Women did not wear pant suites/slacks to church. Aunt Sarah who died at 98 would go around and use a safety pins to pin the girls dresses between their legs, so that the dresses would not rise up when they got into the pond. All believe in truth. Your truth is not necessarily my truth... your experiences are not my experiences. Our ancestors had not experienced the truth of inside plumbing, electric power, the bottomless ocean of technology. God forgive us for not appreciating them enough, for not celebrating the fact that they did the best they could with what they had.

           

            I participated at the funeral for the first graduate of the North Carolina State University, who died at one-hundred (N.M. Matthews, Goldsboro NC.) He and I would talk about the challenges of this new nation. My uncle turner told me about the first multistory, eight story, hotel building that went up in the county. Men carrying bricks and water, on their shoulders, up many feet to build that building. My great-grandfather wrote about his first experiences with electric lights, when he attended a baptist convention in Nashville, Tennessee. My own Grandmother and my relatives were land owners, talked about picking cotton  the day after her marriage. Can we even imagine the depths of poverty and despondency for the tenant farmers, the black people of that time in history. This writer still remembers studying the primitive medical instruments (still used until the beginning of the 20th century) at the UNC school of medicine, Chapel Hill. I will never understand my treatment as a totally blind, 100% disabled veteran. I will never understand my treatment by relatives who knew full well that I had worked very hard, lived a life of trust in God, to reach this time of disembarkation. I wonder how I would have been treated by my family-relatives-associates if I had been convicted of some crime and gone to prison. It suffices to say that most survivors who have reached the 21st century are just caught up in a world of me-ism.

            Most of us might go to God's house and sing such old Christian hymns as "Jesus keep me near the cross." When Jesus knows, we do not mean a word of it. The Christian religion is a supernatural religion. You can not be a Christian without believing in the supernatural. It is the supernatural love of God and love by God, which gives reality to life even in the 21st century. I so pity those who have no memories. I so pity those who have no hope for the future. Six hundred thousand Americans were killed in the great American Civil War. It was not that long ago, I have known family members who were alive during that time. They had the faith to keep on keeping on. I do believe that faith is ninety percent raw courage. This morning, eighty-fifth year my mind is clear, my body free of pain, ready to take the plunge into the depths of the river of reality.