Not on this Field

Soft comes the hush of eventide
And songbirds hide
In limbs of budded trees
To bid farewell to setting sun
With lullabies they've sung
Each night for centuries.

A lark is winging swiftly home -
Black dot alone -
Beneath auroral clouds.
All nature makes a homeward rush
As twilight's rosy blush
The eyes of night arouse.
- “Twilight” by Margaret Yacavace

The only way the news media, the democrat party, the ACOU can succeed in controlling the First Amendment of our marvelous constitution, pertain to birth control, abortion or differences in gender is to eradicate the conscience of mankind. The communist-liberals do not want more poor people, more minorities to exist, they want to control. This is why Margaret Sanger, her book on Eugenics (Margaret was a friend of Adolf Hitler), called black people, “weeds”. It is amazing that the very organization she founded, Planned Parenthood, is now supported by blacks and the poor, and the liberals. They should have told her ilk, long ago, “We will not play on this field.” We live in a world of absolutes, right and wrong, sour and sweet, good and evil, God told us long ago you cannot get sweet and bitter from the same well. “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter,” (James 3:11).
In the community where the writer was reared, his parents, grandparents, great grandparents before him, on both sides, at the crossroads, not far from my grandfather’s plantation home, the large two-room schoolhouse which my mother attended as a child… With its belfry for a bell, outside-toilets, and a hand pump for drinking water. My mother’s great aunt, for whom she was named, was the teacher. Back of this large schoolhouse, owned by the county, still standing, was a large ballfield and right on to this day, was well-known for ball teams that play in this ballfield. I have talked about before, my cousin’s general store, here at this crossroads, and, since he owned most of the land around this ballfield, and, since he profited at the ballgames, he had built bleachers behind home-plate. My great uncle was coach of the local ball team.
But, one Saturday afternoon, when a visiting team came, they refused to play on the field, because the field has not been prepared. The cows had been tethered to eat grass on the field. Young men do not want to fall in cow manure when catching a ball, so the coach of the visiting team said they would not play on that field. The game was transferred to the high school about a mile away where there was a better playing field… I believe the only time it ever happened. Because the local team took care to scrape and prepare the ballfield from then on. There are defects in the “mind-fields” of many people. There are more slaves in Muslim countries than any other nations in the world. Islam has always been a religion of warfare, Muhammed owned the slaves and believed in warfare. America’s own military started with a navy that had to fight Muslim bandits along the North African coast, “shores of Tripoli.” Our national anthem, Star Spangled Banner, is about freedom. But, even today, “Reverend” Al Sharpton promotes a plantation mentality, the Democrat party supported almost 100% by those who would be enslaved… Enshrined civil rights… By justice, Sharpton would be in jail for tax evasion. We have found that liberals and conservatives, minorities, religious and political antagonists, have trouble playing on the same field.
This writer has been in mosques, where only the men are kneeling inside, women are kept out. Early Christian churches, found it “proper” to seat men on the right side of the church, women on the left. It was only in the amen corner, near the pulpit, that old couples sat together. I can still see cousin Connie and Zelphia, cousin Bet and Ernest, cousin Mary and Will, cousin Cassy and Luther, and my own grandparents in the amen corner. But eventually, they all came together. Not so, in the Qu’ran, or the Muslim faith.
If a disciple of Jesus is not journeying to serve, there is no reason for the trip. As the “mother goose” book said, “If you do not where you are going, it makes no difference which road you take.” If we are all just impulse buying, just jumping from one collection to another… Politics-religion-civic or other responsibilities, liberal fascism, then we need to get grounded in some fundamental truths. Truth is truth whether anyone believes it or not, and Jesus told us that he is truth. This is one field on which we can play, with certainty and with confidence. I believe that faith is a verb, “Action based on belief, sustained by confidence.” Your blind writer has walked by faith, not by sight. Christianity is not complicated, just tough. It is not easy to turn the other cheek, to forgive as Jesus forgave, to love your neighbor as yourself. I have some neighbors whom I cannot believe anyone would love… Such as the child abusers across the street, such as the women who can talk so sweet to their dogs, and have nothing but hatred to express toward other human beings. Were things any worse before Noah’s flood? Is there any spirit of awakening when we see mass killings such as Las Vegas, fires such as in California, hurricanes such as in Texas and Florida. Do we actually believe that God will not permeate our field of dreams, our field of ambition, our field of good health or wealth?

Get Off the Treadmill

Get Off the Treadmill

Palliative Care (Relief)

Out of a fired ship, which by no way
But drowning could be rescued from the flame,
Some men leap'd forth, and ever as they came
Near the foes' ships, did by their shot decay;
So all were lost, which in the ship were found,

They in the sea being burnt, they in the burnt ship drown'd.
-  “A Burnt Ship” by John Donne

Your 87-year old writer, a totally-blind, 100% disabled veteran now cancer spread over entire body, was told that I might have one year to live. SO, one who had been on the treadmill every day decided it was time to get off the treadmill.

And then, I decided it was no different from the so-called “fair-weather” friends who only can give me such wonderful advice as, “I’m praying for you.” They never realize that I need real help, cannot walk out the door without assistance. Like their church, like their civic club, like their vet group, “feel-gooders” with their “feel-gooder” churches and clubs. They’re Rotarians, “service above self.” I have never known any but a selfish Rotarian. I have never known anything but an indifferent Christian, just playing games with God, while, the poor, disabled, deaf and blind are more a witness to the grace of God then they could ever be. Every human being should know what it is like to stumble around in blackness for least one day, to get around in a wheelchair for just one day (Bathroom, dressing in clothing, preparing some food to eat). But their “normal” friends, along with their “do-gooder” groups “relieve themselves” by saying, “We will pray for you.” This is their palliative care. This is their method for helping you reach the end of your race. They get together and laugh, and sing, and perhaps even pray. They gorge themselves from a big buffet table. And, we wonder why young people, in a time of opioid hysteria, are so anxious to escape the church house.

The feel-good syndrome started at the church house, courthouse, schoolhouse, and promoted by civic clubs, and even vet and country clubs. Float above the common sicknesses (Physical and mental), going on all around them. One of my wealthy, neer-do-well, “concerned” friends in a brief respite from the golf course said, “I pay too much tax to have empathy for anyone. His time will come.”

There is always a fog after the diagnosis, the diagnosis of total blindness, the diagnosis of spreading cancer. BUT, never such a fog as I experienced this week when I learned that a young man working for me, who I trusted had put thousands of dollars on my credit card, wired thousands of dollars from my bank account, had an app on his cellphone so that he could charge anything to my bank account or credit card.

And, a week when I learned about the thievery of an employee, my realtor goes into my beach rental house and finds that someone has been using and trashing my house, actually set my kitchen on fire (evidently trying to cook). So now, a house to be reconstructed, easier than reconstructing the heart of a young man, or the souls of “feel-gooders-do-gooders”, with which our lives are afflicted.

Those of us who are disabled must trust people. In this time of Medicaid fraud, entitlements, it is difficult to even trust healthcare professionals, when they tell you, you only have a short time to live, you know down, deep inside, that they really don’t care, just make sure your bill is paid before your exit (You cannot live on Pill Hill, have two Mercedes in the driveway, children going to every type of proficiency class, whether dancing or fencing, unless the patient pays his exorbitant bill, doctor’s wives do not shop at thrift stores) and, if you are a victim of divorce, and you have as vicious a wife as I had, (Church-goer with a doctorate) most of the time she has turned your child and grandchildren against you, so don’t expect any palliative care from them (This 87-year old divorced father of one has never received the first gift at any holiday or birthday… Not the first cookie when he visited). This is the world in which we live. Oh, the games people play.

Before God can use a man, he must crush him. But, clinging to the cross, our joy comes in redemption-forgiveness, knowing the reconstruction after the battle is over.

If I were not a Christian, a world of blackness, a world of pain from cancer, a world of young people taking advantage of the old, I would have ended it all long ago. How did the Jews in the death camps of Nazi Germany hold on, and some did, the oldest are dying now. One said, “We knew that at any time, we could end it all, by just starting to run towards the fence… One of the guards in the guard tower would shoot us dead at once.” But, they stayed the course. If they could stay the course, certainly the Christian, knowing what we have waiting, can endure to the end. “But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved” (Matthew 24:13).

Anytime you hear ANYONE talk about their civic club or their church… Just remember.... 1 hour a week as a “do-gooder” at a civic club OR, 1 hour a week at the church as a  “feel-gooder.” Then, think of the thousands in nursing homes, retirement homes, or private homes, who so desperately need palliative care… And how much better their time could be spent doing God’s work, instead of singing, talking, or planning God’s work.

Selling Short

Short selling is the sale of a security that is not owned by the seller, or that the seller has borrowed. Short selling is motivated by the belief that a security's price will decline, enabling it to be bought back at a lower price to make a profit.

A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?


The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.


I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.


I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.


I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.


If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

-Do you love me? By Rumi

An English word etymologist came up with the ten most used words in the English vocabulary. The most bitter word, alone. Have we ever even considered the loneliness in the mind of human beings (The only animals who can think), who are disabled (Blind, deaf, crippled, mentally handicapped), those who are in pain, those who are confused, sensitive, different. Have you ever considered how lonely the unusual mind, one who is Christ-centered, one who is careful in his spending and investing (The careful investor is called by his family and friends; tightwad, frugal, they do not understand that any successful entrepreneur-business man-investor, learns early in life that dimes make dollars and that dollars take care of themselves).

It is a blessed person who can find one other human being with which to share his spiritual faith. One with whom he can pray, one with whom he can freely discuss commitment and concern for God’s word. All the world is full of pretenders, fakers, even in pulpits, who speak the language (You can teach a parrot to talk, but you learn so quickly those who are in genuine in their confidence), the airways are full of Christian radio, mostly Sunday morning sermons from well known preachers, mostly “canned” music that any station, any person can purchase. There are many political radio talk-shows where convinced-concerned people can call and express their passion: very few Christian talk-shows (James Dodson, one of the few). This writer has learned that Catholic radio has real-genuine Christian talk-shows…Capable hosts who can disentangle many false impressions who actually know and promote the Christian message-the gospel. Don’t sell Catholic talk-shows short, simply because you do not believe everything in the Catholic dogma. I hear just as much debatable theology from Evangelical pulpits. Why are there over 20,000 different Evangelical denominations… And those who are really trodden upon, declare themselves as non-denomination. In the Christian message, the true gospel, there should be no confusion: “Sins ruin in Christ’s redemption.” These words have been spoken by me in blogs for many years, and yet, I feel so alone in my conviction.

DON’T SELL SHORT those of us who are not like you. Just because a person is blind, disabled in some other way, not as attuned as you are in love with this “present” world does not mean we cannot participate.

I never cease to be amazed when I go into a restaurant with a friend, and of course, I have to be with one because I am totally blind, the server never puts a menu in front of me, because she assumes that if blind, dumb. Never forget that no matter your disability, your illness, the person you are talking to can always come up with someone in worse condition.

Human effort has failed to solve America’s problems… Isn’t it amazing the mess that normal people can make? My very good friend, Dr. John East, professor, later a United States senator, in a wheelchair from youth, who was called a cripple on the floor of the US Senate. He once said to me, “The disabled life is hardly worth living… We get none of the joys and advantages that our “normal” friends enjoy and aspire.” He later killed himself.

The first time I was in Russia, walking with a friend of mine, who was an official of WOR-TV, New York City, we both remarked about the number of drunks in Russia. By the time we left, we had decided that anyone, in order to live in that god-forsaken country, USSR, would have to stay drunk. Don’t sell short those who from no cause of their own, are victimized by the extravagances that they visit upon others. Don’t sell short children from homes of abuse, wives living with husbands of abuse, young people who carry around in their brain the confusion of sexual dilemma (The great actress, Betty Davis, said “Sexy is the biggest joke God played on mankind”). Don’t sell short those who in an attempt to escape, look to prescription drugs for rescue: the bottom of a liquor bottle: overeating-overspending-over leisure (Why do so many young people find escape in video games?) There is a chasm of loneliness in their mind, that only God in his tender mercy can fill.

Your mind is very alone in a world of business and confusion. You must have something to hold onto, such as the words of the one who, through the stars and space, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).

Spurgeon's Morning Sermon

Special You

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints (Ephesians 6).

How does the art specialist determine the authenticity of a painting on canvas? If you go to any gallery, there will be art students copying the originals. The specialist knows the brushstrokes of the true artist just as the mother hen knows the identity of her brood. Farm animals, even work animals (such as a team of mules or horses) will know the voice of the one who works them, feeds them.

What makes one preacher stand out, every preacher-every speaker has the same Bible-the same reference books to work with, yet there will always be one or two that stand head and shoulders above others… Only one Dwight Moody, only one Billy Graham, only one RG Lee.

Every student in the healthcare field has access to materia medica (hundreds of volumes of material relating to health discoveries). Every scientist has access to the library, to all the scientific information written, peer-reviewed, before him. Yet, there is only one scientist who will make the crucial discovery. There were many scientists before Watson and Crick, but they wrote the book, “The Double Helix”, discovery of DNA. I was still in college when this discovery was made and I thought this will put an end to this malarkey about evolution, but it seems it just whetted the appetite of the unbelieving atheist.

Is there still a real challenge to knowledge, to study, to excel, does the human being still have the need for excellence?

My parents were reared within two miles of one another, my grandparents before them, my great grandparents before them, still standing, after all these years, the plantation home owned by my mother’s family. Her father had one brother who lived in the home his entire life, never married, always slept in the same room. As far as I know, this uncle never spent one night away from that room, where he was born and where he died. Was he better off to never have been exposed to the world, as this writer has been exposed? He remembered the first electric lights, the first time a building in town built over one story high. Late in life, he died old, my grandparents had purchased a television, I don’t believe he ever understood what it was all about. I know he would not ride in a motor vehicle for many years after he saw the first one, “I’m not going to get in that thing.” Was he better off to never have known the intricacies of education, more than just his ability to read and write? Would he have enjoyed life more, if exposed to modernity, with all its futures and failures?  

Lunch Box

“Our uniqueness makes us special, makes perception valuable - but it can also make us lonely. This loneliness is different from being 'alone': You can be lonely even surrounded by people. The feeling I'm talking about stems from the sense that we can never fully share the truth of who we are. I experienced this acutely at an early age.”

What the eye does not see, the heart will not grieve over. IF there is one thing I have attempted in my long life, to get across to young men whom I come in contact… Employees, visitors, of those met on speaking engagements, it is my desire to express to them that they are one of a kind: only one person with your appearance, your voice, the iris flex in your eyes, your fingerprints, the only person who has ever lived and will ever live who has your unique abilities. “You are special, designed by God” (Psalm 139). “AND, you only have one life to live, God chose you for a special purpose.”

I am blessed to remember the day when the father was important in the home. He knew his importance, when he left home with his lunch box, he knew that he was leaving behind the most important thing God would ever bless him with, a family. And, his wife and children knew and recognized his importance. He was honored as the head of the house, with his own special place, not only in their hearts but in their physical surroundings. His family honored his place at the table, his place in the sitting room, his place in making decisions about the home and family. How many times did I hear these words, as a child, “Let’s ask daddy.” Have you ever considered what it does to a father, the head of the home, the man who struggles with a job, and the risks involved, to hear a wife and children talk about their wants. My mother would say, when we were wanting things we could not afford, “Money does not grow on trees,” and, we saw how hard our mother and father worked. How well I remember, my mother going into the feed store and buying, with my father, sacks of animal feed which came in floral prints so she could use feed sacks to sew her own dresses and be able to buy store-bought dresses for my sister. Most men of my day, only had one suit, one pair of Sunday shoes, and, he was usually buried in that suit. I have not forgotten the day I sat in the “family car” with my cousin as we took his wife to the cemetery… Following the hearse which was carrying her casket. He said, “Look at my shoes, I purchased these shoes the day before she and I were married. I have worn them every Sunday since, ushering and doing other things at the church, and now, 45 years later, I’m wearing them to her grave.” Of course, unlike today’s boys, he knew how to polish a pair of shoes.

I am blessed to remember the day when fathers wanted their sons to act like men: to know how to do things, even small repairs, to sit next to a man at church so that he can learn to sing in a low voice. Have you ever considered what it does to the father of a son to have him pursue a career in dressmaking, hairdressing. What it does to a father to see his own son feminize, I have yet to hear a father brag about his son being homosexual. There was a time when boys fled the sound of the word, “faggot”. In the day of the gay agenda-same sex marriage-don’t ask-don’t tell-if it feels good do it-fairness and feeling, the fact of being different or indifferent simply does not bother the average young person.

I am blessed to remember the day when weddings were significant. The bride and her friends knowing the thrill of beautiful dresses. The father of the bride, knowing of presenting to a real man, a real woman. Males knew their blessed place in the nuptials… A man acting like a man, showing the love and protection of the one with whom he would share his life. Someone told me that you could always tell if a man loved his wife… Just one short, yet remarkable test. Watch when he comes up to his wife and a group of her friends or sisters. His eyes will always go to his wife first, he will not even be aware of the other’s presence.  

We live in days of entitlements. Any woman can just ask for anything, and the government is there to supply her need. Why should she have a man around to make repairs, help make decisions, help raise children, help give her the gravitas desire by most normal couples. In this make-believe world of NOW (National Organization for Women) when, according to Gloria Steinem, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, can we even begin to understand the embarrassment, sensitivity, confusion, in the minds of young children.

Every drug has its side effects, when you get a prescription, a new bottle of pills, there is usually several pages of information telling you why you should not use them. No drug has as many side effects as psychiatric drugs… Such as Prozac. I am convinced that bipolar drugs have more lasting effect and deterioration of the body than a heart attack or stroke. Nothing creates more anxiety in the hearts of men and women then confusion about sex… The rearing of children in a healthy sex indoctrination. The qualms and quivers of observing deviance in members of your own family or associates. God knew what he was doing when he made man and woman with their own strengths and weaknesses. Satan always pays off in counterfeit… Exploits every weakness.

The Inner Life

Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star,
     And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
     When I put out to sea,

  But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
     Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
     Turns again home.

-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The greatest chasm in the world is that great distance between what we know and what we do. It is like that 14 inches, perhaps the greatest distance between the heart and the brain. Christians know their own poverty, they just look to Jesus for their needs.

It is a week like this that we realize again just how fragile life really is. There are 20 million legal gun sales each year.

Try this in a real conversation with someone, “Can you tell that my life shows that I am a real follower of ‘the way’?” The man who did the slaughter of so many people in Las Vegas was said, by his own family, not to have any real religious convictions or interested in politics. He had evidently escaped in this so-called Christian nation, every evidence of integrity and morality, and we continue to ask, “Why are so many human beings killed in a slaughter such as this, or the every week slaughter in Chicago?” Once, in Korea, where the weather can get so cold (during the Korean War, near the Chosin reservoir, dead-frozen American bodies were stacked like cordwood, it was said that one man went into the mountains where he found most of the people barefoot. He asked the question, “Why don’t you people have shoes in this cold and ice?” One said, “It takes money to buy shoes, and we do not have money.” He said, “Do you not have a job?” “Oh,” the other replied, “We all have jobs. We work in a shoe factory.” And so it is in this land of the free, home of the brave, as our president said, “Criminal evil and most church people are not very concerned.” What the eye does not see, those in the pews and pulpit do not grieve over. For several generations, we have taught our young people to be nice, to be tolerant, to be politically correct… Facts do not matter, it is only feeling and fairness that count. We try to make Jesus a man of the age we live in, God has not promised to forgive one sin you are not willing to forsake and many times we must reach down further than we are willing to go… Encouragement, forgiveness.

Carl was a 24-year-old, very intelligent young man, who came to work for me. He was very upfront about his illness, the fact that he had AIDS, this was in the beginning of the AIDS epidemic… People knew very little about the bacteria. I believe the strangest question anyone ever asked me, he asked me after he had talked with me about his impending death, “Would you help me to commit suicide?”

I could well understand Carl’s dilemma, once a favorite among his friends, now shunned by everyone, including his own family. He said he went to visit his sister, and she kept his glass and dishes apart from her others, so afraid, was she of catching his disease. When Carl died in a hospital, his mother called me that she was having such difficult time finding a funeral home to bury the body. She found a local mortician in a small nearby town, who said they would come and put the body in a casket, and bury it, but would have nothing to do with the services or even embalming, so Carl was buried in a grave, still very much alone… No family, no friends, in attendance.

Another good friend, Katherine (Katherine Vasolue), I met because we were both great talk-show addicts… Talking on talk-shows coast to coast. Larry King, the famous talk-show host, said Katherine was the brightest female he had ever known. Katherine was an only child, born blind, she went to the school for the blind and onto to graduate at two universities. She returned here, her home, so she could care for her aging mother and father (he, a WWII veteran). She supported her family by working at a local hospital, typing records. She would go home and care for her parents until their deaths. I asked her once, “Did anyone in this town ever do anything for you or your parents in that long time of sickness?” She said that when her mother died, one church brought by some food, and the local newspaper took up a collection to help bury her mother… Never anything at Christmas, or any holiday. She said I have already given my lawyer and the funeral home instructions, “When I die there is to be nothing. No services, anything. Just bury me next to my parents.” And that is what happened… One of the brightest women I ever knew, bringing joy to millions coast to coast, by her very spectacular voice on the radio. Katherine had a seeing-eye dog named Elma. One day, one of our fine citizens, hit with her car, Katherine and Elma in the street, killed Elma, the car never even slowed down.  

Our values-inspirations are so confused. We just had the world’s oldest and richest pimp die (Hugh Hefner). I was amazed at this purveyor of pornography was so remembered in such a grand and glorious way by news media. We are so concerned about our social standing at cocktail parties, our houses, our cars, the clothing we wear. In one of our state’s largest stores, labels would be cut out of expensive clothing so they could be attached to cheaper clothing, so important is an appearance, social standing, the need to impress. The people in Las Vegas, or even Afghanistan, the mortality rate is still 100%. We are all going to die, the only thing left behind; our culture.