Soul for Sale

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Matthew 16:26

Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?

1 Corinthians 1:20

Real slavery is attempting to live your life from the approval of others.

"But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;"

-Hebrews 10:32

Too many of us including this writer, has tried to live life dancing to the music that Satan and other unbelievers played. We did not have the confidence to trust God and instead, tried to "live by sight instead of faith;" 2 Corinthians 5:7. It was after this writer became a blind man, that he had the confidence to walk by faith, depending on the creator of the universe.

What do you do when God's promises fail? We live in a world of "quick fixes." We live in a world of fast food, fast prescription pill for any sickness. Nationwide, the average time in your doctors office is 7 minutes. Your oncologist considers you cured of cancer if you have survived cancer for five years. God does not wear a watch, he takes his own good time in resolving our problems, keeping his promises. We must have the confidence to trust him, all he requires is trust. 

Faith is a verb, action, based on belief, sustained by confidence. We must have the confidence to believe him. It was after I became blind, sightless, that I could trust, that I had the confidence to wait for answered prayer. 

I can well understand why the new Christian loses confidence so quickly when his prayers are not answered. Financially, the past year was one of the worst years of my life. I had more empty rental property, less sales in my business, than ever before. I have always had trouble in business with dishonest employees... people who work for me. I sometimes believe that more of my things have walked out of my business than what I have sold in my business. Yet, everyday without fail, I tell God that I am depending on him to help me with my life. He knows how hard it is for me to do anything. He knows how hard it is for me to depend on people I pay to work for me, even associates, long time friends, even family members. Most people simply do not care. Most of the professionals, businesses, certainly the government, with whom you come in contact with do not care. This is a world of me-ism. Everyone simply going through the motions. I can certainly understand why the new Christian and even seasoned Christians have trouble understanding why God is always late on the scene. After many years, we always find through stress and tears that he is standing at the crossroads of our lives before we get there. Don't throw away your confidence because of the failures of other Christians, don't throw away your confidence because of disappointment, despair.

This writer was born and raised on a dirt road, no power, phone or water lines. Nothing but hard work and hard times. To this day, I cannot understand how my parents, grandparents and the many other people surviving in the poverty of eastern North Carolina had the confidence to keep going. But they did. My heart is still filled with hatred, so much resentment when I consider how my parents were treated in town by people of wealth. I still remember the junk that was sold to them, they wanted us to have a typewriter and a supposedly responsible man, sold them a  piece of junk. But, they had the money to go to town and buy things, they could use the restrooms in the stores - think of our black neighbors, hard working-god fearing-tax paying citizens who were never able to buy store bought things (clothing, food, furniture) simply because their skin was black. Yet, these black citizens too, had the confidence to keep living, trusting, believing in a better place.

I did not realize the "soullessness" of people; both students and professors until I entered the University. Graduating from a poor, small country school (thirteen in my graduating class), I was not prepared to enter any college. In addition to lack of preparation, it was necessary for me to work my way through. At the same time, competing with the elitist sons of wealth and power that had been prepared for university education at preparatory schools. The sons of legislators, judges, wealthy alumni, were treated well. I will never forget the day I came in to full conflict with my creator. It was sitting on a stone fence at the rear of Wilson Library. I quoted a scripture to my Lord, from the book of Jobs; "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him..." Jobs 13:15.

After eight years of frugal living, hard work, jumping through every hoop educators and governments demanded, I had letters before and after my name. Then, as during the Korean War when all doctors must serve, I became an army medical officer. All this has been written about previously, now, totally blind, 100% disabled, service connected 85 year old Veteran. 

Perhaps, next to the stress and unfairness of education was my military service. Right away, still in medical officer training internship at Brook Army Medical Center, a much better looking, more articulate officer (one who to this day I believe was gay) put a move on someone, and got my orders replaced by his. His orders sent him to New York City, mine to wherever.

Incomprehensible, one Army Hospital where I was on staff, the hospital nearest Huntsville, Alabama where Redstone Arsenal was located, and Hitlers boys were perfecting the missiles, the hospital was staffed by German Nazi Doctors brought over after WWII. From the hospital commander Colonel Marx on down, doctors and nurses... all former Nazi troops. I will never forget the day I arrived there, the doctor I was replacing said to me, "I don't know what goes on in this place,  but it is straight from Hell and I am glad to escape." Of course, with me as with anyone else seeking military advancement, you have that constant rivalry between the forces of Satan and those of God... A matter of warfare in the soul. 

In my lifetime, what has happened to my country? There was a time when inquiring, investigating, reporters would have taken apart the decadents of this nation. I can well imagine my friend Walter Spearman, school of Journalism UNCCH, saying to students "Stay honest, report the truth." The American people will swallow anything, hook, line and sinker. Seeing the sight of the plane explosion in Switzerland, would anyone believe that it was anything other than an explosion? Studying what happened on 9-11 in Manhattan, would anyone swallow the Government's explanation? Only 1% of the American population still does. In my world travels, I've spoken with men in such communist cesspools such as Yugoslavia, Burma, China and Russia. They all said the same thing: "We learned the truth when it was too late." Perhaps an EMP attack, throwing America back to the stone age will tell us that we should have been more alert to the degradation and broken culture of our society.

In my long life, I have never known a man in politics who did not give up his soul. The soullessness of Government is beyond compare. When I was a child in democrat controlled North Carolina (my family on both sides Republican), you could not get a job at any state agency (highways, hospitals, even teaching school) unless you were a proven and approved democrat. Confidence in our nation, its schools,  its churches, must be restored if America is to survive. 

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