Mandala

(Search for Completeness)

"Make me a channel of blessing today,
Make me a channel of blessing, I pray;
My life possessing, my service blessing,
Make me a channel of blessing today."


No human being blessed with life, blessed with nominal intelligence, can escape the knowledge of cause and effect, cannot recluse himself from the responsibility of cause and effect. It takes courage to live life. 90% of the Christian faith is just raw courage. In Mexico, in North Africa, and other areas of the world, this writer- world traveler, has seen young men dive from high cliffs into water depths below. This takes courage. As a field grade Army officer, I have seen young men jump from airplanes, hoping that their parachute, prepared by someone else, will open. This takes Courage. In the inter sanctum of the human mind, gods greatest creation, the most amazing thing in life, hope. Most of life's activities, even its sacraments, involves hope. 

Hope is involved in marriage, if it works out, fine, if not, expected.

Hope is involved in rearing a child, especially a strong-willed- mentally challenged- prodigy or precocious child. Most of the geniuses of the world, were unusual children. With parents, it is a matter of working and waiting. 

Hope is involved in investing, stocks, real-estate, inventions, even planting a crop. The greatest investment I ever knew, and I have been a large investor in both stocks and real-estate, was the investment on my parents, in their farm, fertilizer and seed, planting crops. The fertilizer- seed- soil, could produce nothing without god given rain and climate. 

Hope is involved in education, whether grade school or graduate school. The worlds greatest investors- financiers- planners, never went very far in education. They had a drive- mental capacity which ephemera (books and paper) cannot give. A PHD, man or women, without common sense can starve to death in a time of disaster. 

Burying anyone is an act of hope. You think you know, but you never know, the soul condition of the dead. The eternal destination of the soul is within the providence of god and god alone. Many of us, and in fact, most of us, are good pretenders and may have fooled others. Ourselves, we cannot fool. Within the inter sanctum of the mind, our hope is established. Some scientists have tried to measure the weight of the soul. The soul does not have mass- weight- identification. We all have one, and it is what makes us "who" we are. Other body parts can be transplanted. At clinical death, the soul, here now- their then, leaves this worn- torn- used body, and the body is disposed of with hope; resurrected hope. 

All is not well that ends well. You can have a very successful life, living and dying well, by living the simple life... Simple ambitions, simple lifestyle, simple unchallenged job, never wanting more than a simple car- house- clothing. One man said he had no enemies because he had outlived them all. Everyone will love you if you are never a challenge to anyone about anything. If you are just a pushover. 

Science is about investigating the unknown. Untying and looking inside the baggage which everyone carries around. Intelligentsia: medical, psychological- governmental, involves the spending of tremendous funds to uncover the obvious. For instance, the poisons you put into your body, result in slow, if not instant, death. For instance, you cannot bomb into your way of thinking, nationals who have spent thousands of years living their lives a certain way.

When I was a young boy, this was before the military and my time of total blindness, my eyesight was very poor. Back then, parents or teachers, never payed any attention to children s eyes. Especially a child with a good  mind who could learn in spite of anything. I was never chosen on a team to play ball because I could not see how to hit a ball. I had to memorize everything the teacher said because I could not see the chalkboard. It was only when I went to get a drivers license that my myopia (nearsightedness) was discovered, I went to an optometrist for eyeglasses and the world became, in the truest sense, a cause and effect. I could see leafs on trees. Could see as well as hear, birds in the air. 

There are images, from the eyes into the brain, which I can never escape. I will never escape the images of the black- segregated school houses of my youth. Those framed buildings, painted white, with their outside toilets and hand water pumps. While, right down the road, as poor as they were, brick school houses for the white children. And, we expect the black race to forget this disparity. I will never forget images of refuges at border crossings in third world countries. The border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, fathers and mothers with all their earthly belongings in large sacks over their shoulders. Frail shoe-less children, bare feet on icy roads. This writer, raised in the poverty of Eastern North Carolina, dirt road, no power- phone- water lines, working in the hot sun an entire day, in green tobacco to get paid one dollar. Could I ever forget the hard work and sweat of my parents? I still remember their thrill in selling their first tobacco for fifty-cents a pound.

The picture I paint of life is not all darkness. Thank god I lived in a time of beautiful music, even beautiful movies- love stories. Love stories between real men and real women... None of this same sex marriage insanity. 

Can I describe the person I would like to have been? Firstly, good looking... Looks will get you further than anything else. Secondly, a pedigree of wealth and influence... Ancestral prominence. Life is hard enough at best. But is a real tragedy on such an uneven playing field. This has been my main quarrel with god. It would be so much easier to live the Christian life, without trials and problems. If only god would "quick fix everything with prayer." If only god were a bell-hop type deity... just come running when we need him. If only I could hold onto god in one hand, and the world with the other. If only warfare against Satan could be accomplished from an air-conditioned foxhole... Demanding nothing. God wanting nothing from me except pretension. If only I could live like my family, my associates, my fellow church members, and most of my friends, just playing games with god. Nothing settle, nothing complete. 

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