Narcissism

Vanity and narcissism — the compulsive need to be admired and praised — undermine one's courage, for one then fights on someone else's conviction rather than one's own.

    Rollo May - Man's Search for Himself (1953)

Most of us make the mistake of weighing and measuring others with the same scale and yardstick that we measure and weigh ourselves. When this writer lies down to die, he wants to think and remember that every fellow human being he ever met, anywhere, on his many trips around the world, even among his most personal associates and family members, that in the souls of them all, whichever way they went, Heaven or Hell, that their was some goodness in the soul of all of them. Please don't let me think that I was narcissistic enough to judge anyone else, when I was only a sinner saved by grace. 

When Hitler started his book burning, attempting to cleanse the third right, everything bad in his nation, the first book on his list was the biography of Helen Keller. There have been many great person hoods in the history of the world. But, perhaps no person as great as Helen Keller... A women born deaf, and blind. Most of us who heard her speak, could not understand anything she said. But, other than Jesus himself, few people have had the influence on the lives of others that she had. 

Is it a coincidence that she is buried in floor of the National Cathedral, in Washington DC, right next to president Woodrow Wilson, who has been declared the most Narcissistic man who ever lived. It has been said that president Wilson was so narcissistic, that he wanted to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral. A more recent president, William Clinton, is said to be just as narcissistic... That he wants to be the commanding prescience in every room that he enters. We have all known people so narcissistic, that way, because they were blessed with good looks, A truly gravatosk personality, or had in some way become powerful because of money, or ancestry, or brain accomplishment. Lets face it, their are those who just stand out above the crowd. 

God despises pride- narcissism, he allowed the children of Israel to wonder around and then die, for forty years in a wilderness desert in order to "humble" them. Jesus, God- man, God who put on a tent of human flesh and lived among us, said in the most famous sermon ever preached, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).  Paul said, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves" (Philippians 2:3). Would it not make 21st century Christians, Christians so despised by the world, feel better, if Jesus, when harassed by Pilate, and his unlawful judgment, had done some small miracle, such as a swarm of bees going in circles around Pilate's head, and showing the accursed Roman leader, as he has always shown the world, just who is "boss." But would it have made any difference? Those Romans who arrested him in Garden  of Gethsemane saw him restore the ear to the servant of Malchus which Peter had cut off with his sword, and it did not seem to have any affect. Jesus broke up every funeral procession he ever met, healed the sick, fed thousands, with one boys lunch, still he had very few followers. I am convinced that only his resurrection  made an eclylsmic change in the lives of  his disciples.  Jesus, Paul, saints throughout history, "those of whom the world is not worthy" (Hebrews 11:38), were humble in their greatness. Many humble grandparents, teachers, pastors, neighbors, have died never knowing their influence on someone's life. Those who have had the greatest influence on this old blind veterans life, have not been people with power or money, but those with a humble and contract spirit.  

This old soldier found that veterans don't talk about the war, they just get over it. The healing profession should be more humble, our immune system is all we have going for us. The poisons we put in our body from most doctors, generally do more harm than good, shutting the healing process down. Effectively killing the kidneys and liver. This old veteran, world traveler, is made happy knowing the enjoyment of life by others, than in the darkness- loneliness- exasperation of his own. I have concurred the feeling that I had contributed something to the world. I believe there is healing in forgiveness. I have forgiven the employees whom I was paying good money to help me, as they were stealing from me. I have forgiven the many dealings with people who I knew had only one thing on their mind. Whether a real-estate transaction, car repair, or even shoe repair, "how much money can I get out of him." It was my business that I have lived so frugally, never bought anything unless it was on sale. I once found a Kennedy silver half dollar in the mud, it was so ugly, but I washed it and it shined. That is my hope and joy. I have been so rotten and dirty, like everyone else in the mire. But, Jesus took me up and washed me of all my narcissism, even my sinful nature. 

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