who cares

#1749

Who cares about the disabled? Who cares about abuse, abuse of children, abuse of the handicapped and the disabled. There was a time when government exercised oversight, over those with a license to give service of any type. Now, any complaint, hire yourself a lawyer.

80% of all abuse is denied. Most lawyers are fearful of involvement, so afraid of being accused of frivolity. Lawyers want something simple, requiring little work, little risk. This old veteran has gone for days this month without his blood-pressure medicine. Has gone for days this month without a nurse appearing (paid for by VA) to even change his bed. Who cares? Certainly not the VA. The VA would like for every veteran to commit suicide. Many of the younger ones are doing so. It is so much cheaper to bury a veteran than to care for one. The thousands of employees who work for the most inept agency in the government, just go through the motions. At any veterans hospital, they may have a fixed smile, but they are not happy. Certainly not happy to give you care. This blind veteran, was sitting next to a war torn, WWII aged officer, his body stilled wrecked by the wages of war. Sitting with our numbers, waiting for our numbers to be called, I said to the technician drawing blood, "That old colonel in front of me was a real hero." Her reply, "why don't you old men just go ahead and die" (VA hospital Durham NC).  

unintended consequences

#1748

"One of these days, the ground will drop out from beneath your feet
One of these days, your heart will stop and play it's final beat

One of these days, the clocks will stop and time won't mean a thing
One of these days, their bombs will drop and silence everything"

There was a time, even from the "talking box," when their was reason, even sanity. There was such marvelous TV shows as Laurence Welk, Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans, the I Love Lucy show, even Uncle Mitty or Arch Bishop Sheen.

There was a reason why the most sinful even the most ignorant among us took pride in knowing their was goodness in the world... That everything was not on the back streets- red light areas of our town. Even to a world traveler, we knew that Satan had placed blackness in the souls of some people. In some third world countries, their were cages near the street, were fighting roosters were kept. The traffic activity-noise, kept the roosters, "pumped up," just as fighting dogs were kept pumped up by human beings, with souls, being mean to them. What possible satisfaction can a human being get from seeing animals fight one another? often to the death. But, likewise, what thrill can another human being get from planes or drones, dropping explosives on innocent mothers and children. And yet, from one side of the world to the other, Americans want other cultures to admire us. Even desire our form of liberty. Is Iraq any better off today, than it was when America first started interfering with their lifestyles, their religions? Did the thousands of young people who fought there, die in vein? As now we must do it all over again. If we are to satisfy the manufactures of war who are still supplying both sides in all military conflicts. This is Americas greatest economy booster. The building and supplying of war materials to everyone all over the world. Most of the nations fighting wars in the Middle East, do not have the technical abilities-raw materials, to build a bicycle. I know, I have been there. In spite of their religious inconsistencies, their un-American way of doing things, they just want to be left alone. 

In my world travels. I was on some remote islands in the south-pacific. Somewhere, that these sightless eyes cannot find, I have pictures to prove this... Natives, dark skin with blonde hair- blue eyes. There were cultures of these tribes on several islands, completely different from other natives of other islands and their people. My guide told me that a Scandinavian ship had wrecked their many years ago, and in the course of biology, the native women had been seduced by the blonde Scandinavian sailors. In today's world, this type matter of geography and biology does not seem strange as you question your own sanity involving same sex marriage, in their movement- agenda, in those involved in perversion, to stay on the front page on every news outlet. 

The fiction writer can look into the future, can prophesy and dramatize present day events but just think of the scar tissue involved in explaining unnatural- immoral lifestyles to children. Children born of natural honor and love. 

This old blind writer- veteran, often thinks that he is not the only one running blind. Many of us tried so hard to live decent- responsible lives. If only we had the opportunities afforded young people today. I still remember the first Christmas I came home from college. I was hitchhiking, almost totally frozen. Two men, a truck, loaded with Christmas trees, stopped to give me a ride. I crawled up in the back of that truck, with all those Christmas trees. On that truck ride, I don't know which was shaking more, the trees or me. Today's college students, with their superior high-school preparation, grants, subsidies, allowances, do not know what it is to want for anything. But, neither do they know how much debt is on their head, as they look onto the future. Many of them have debt from school expenses, but more have the debt facing them from the tyranny of a country that has sold their future down the river. 

Keeping wars going all over the world, like a Cancer eating away at the body, its just slow death. In the human body, their is at least one trillion cells. It just takes one of those cells to go crazy, start a meiosis of insane division, and you have cancer... Slow mythological death, but always with the same ending. 

The slow certain destruction started in my parents lifetime. My mother spoke at my uncles funeral, an officer in the Spanish-American war, that war started with the sinking of the Maine in the Havana harbor of Cuba. WWI started with the sinking of the Lusitanian, probably by the British, to force America into the conflict. WWII started with an attack on Pearl Harbor, for which America had been for warned. We all know the foolishness- silliness of the 9-11 fiasco. Now, We see nothing in the future except endless wars, endless atrocities, eventual executions by terrorists, on the American soul. 

Appifiny of the Unwashed

#1745  All things by immortal power,
Near or far,	30
Hiddenly
To each other linkèd are,
That thou canst not stir a flower
Without troubling of a star; -Francis Thompson

Henry Kissinger once said, "The boundaries of history have been marked by the masses of the unwashed."

This writer never takes a shower, never turns a faucet in the kitchen, without thanking God for water. What water means to life, both animal and plant. The fact that water has made the determining factor of almost every event in history. 70% of the Earths crust is covered by water, and makes up 70% of any animals body weight, water determining all plant life (mystery of the ages, routes in the soil, and the magnetism involved in water traveling even to the top of the tallest tree).

I never get out of the shower, without thinking that my ancestors never knew what it was to have a decent bath... The unwashed. 

This world traveler has seen unwashed people, the world over In Africa- Asia, Hundreds of men and women in rivers, beating their dirty clothing against rocks, washing their laundry in a river. 

From one side of the world to the other, people spending their day, with great jugs many times on their heads, transporting water from a creek to their home. 

As with characters in the bible, as with our ancestral forebears, to understand them, we must put flesh and blood on and in their bodies. I fully realize that today and in the 21st century, their are children born who never know their  parents, or knew their grandparents. 

Please God forgive those who do not have "precious memories," who do not have "family ties" to hold onto. 

I have all the empathy in the world, for the unwashed masses whose life is a struggle, in remote corners of the world, which God has blessed me to visit. I must remember, however, my own family. 

In-between the ancient farm homes of both my mother and father, my grandparents, and great- grandparents before them, a distance of about two miles, a curve in the dirt country road. In the grave yard at that curve, are the tomb stones of these, "saints of old" who I want to remember. 

Their were very few photographs back then, most of their ephemera (paper products), destroyed in their activity and just survival of daily life. People just did not prize old things. Every time this world traveler was near a monastery, I thought of the monk who found the sisters in 

Saint Catherine's Monastery

 at  Mount Sinai, burning old biblical scrolls, just trying to stay warm.

We think that God is tough. My ancestors were really tough. Think of their horror story, before leaving England, flaying to keep their Christian belief. Crossing the treacherous Atlantic in a small ship... Sick, some buried at sea. Landing on the shores of this promise land, near Morris town, NJ 1677. Battered by the sea and the New England winters. Think of what they encountered with their very few possessions, clothing- food- tools- medicine. But they eek out of existence out of the soil of New Jersey, founding Morris town. Then the hard working farmers moved south to North- Carolina. 

To show how tough they really were (and only a few family members know this). In my lifetime, few automobiles, cousin Barney, who owned a car, drinking liquor, drove his car into the ditch right there at the graveyard. His family had built our church in 1874, still there- still beautiful. His own family "kicked" him out of the church for drinking. So many times I wanted to tell his beautiful Christian wife and children (now dead and in Heaven), that story.

how things have changed at the church house, the school house, the court house, and all my relatives houses. Places which have had such a tremendous influence on my life. 

I still want to meet a perfect man, other than my blessed lord. My own "warts," "sins," though forgiven, still bother me. But even though we fail him, he never fails us. 

Not only did those folks buried in that graveyard, never have a decent bath, how they suffered from disease, not only wants but needs, at the one room school-house, which even my own mother attended, my grand-parents along with NC education governor Charles B. Aycock, they had to go to the woods and cut wood for the stove. Also buried in the graveyard, aunt Catty, the teacher... Uncle Turner, who once a year would go into a nearby town, and buy ice for everyone's once a year treat, ice-tea and ice-cream (July 4th celebrated at the school house). In the graveyard is my mothers 2 year old brother, who died from a dread disease. Until her death, my grand-mother thought every young boy looked like Seth. 

There is a long line of those in the graveyard who I can remember from stories which were told to me. Such stalwart ancestors, who knew nothing but handwork-hard times, and the all preserving power of God, will keep those of us who had it much easier, from complaining. They never heard a radio, but heard the voice of God from beautiful birds in the trees. They never saw a television set, but saw the hand of God in the lives of the sick and lonely. They never tasted "fast food" but knew the thrill from healthy- green- real food. They did not worry about diet or exercise, because farm work, walking most places, kept them in shape. 

In a world of political correctness, were the price of a soul is so cheap, God help us to remember the values of real Americans, real "Christ like" individuals. 

Reality, Perception: Morality, Dilemma

#1744

"When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down" - Simon and Garfunkel 

The amateur photographer enjoys photographing sunsets. This world traveler has photographed sunsets all over the world, even with almost sightless eyes. The best sunsets are behind mountains or across large expanses of water. 

There are many things in life I can not explain, like people praying as they read self-help books. When I get to heaven, I will have many questions to ask God.  I want to question many ideas about nothingness to somethingness. I want to question about all matter being energy... Einstein shows us this in his equation. Energy = mass x the speed of light squared. We know that our entire universe is electricity, everything about the human body. For some strange reason, we just expect the human body to keep functioning in spite of its treatment, in spite of the nourishment we put in it, in spite of the stress and strain we put on it. The evolutionist has never been able to explain why everything wears out, all matter. 

Recently, two deaths in one day, men this writer knew... two very different men. 

I have joined, for many years, a group of veterans every Monday morning for breakfast. Rapidly we are dying off. The last, a veteran named Fred, who always boasted about never going to a doctor and he just fell over dead, no warnings. He was just beginning to enjoy his retirement. 

The same day, the death of James Forbes Nash and his wife in a traffic collision, returning from Europe where he had just received a prize for mathematics. 

The following day, A ship capsized in the Yangtze River, a storm just out of nowhere. 432 people died. (Chinese have souls too). This world traveler has crossed that river, been in a ship on that river several times. 

The writer C.S Lewis said, "Joy is a serious business." The only joy we can observe in the death of anyone, particularly a family member, is the joy of knowing that there is life after death... last breath here, first breath there. The Catholics would have you believe there is a buffer zone. A place and time between clinical death and heaven, a place called purgatory, where sins can be purged, by others, praying and giving, attempting to influence God. There is absolutely nothing in the scripture to support this. The sovereign word of God tells us that at clinical death, every opportunity is over for purging or repentance. Of course we are taught, in no uncertain terms, that those who live in sin are dead while they live. 

It is incomprehensible that anyone, with nominal intelligence, knowing that everyone will die (the mortality rate is still 100%, no options) And knowing just how short life is compared to eternity, knowing how unpredictable life can be ( Nash and his wife were killed in a taxi on their return from Europe, plane, to their home.) That one would want to be well prepared for exit- death. Everyone does not "fade away" in a hospice. 

Modern science will have you believe that, life is a matter of genetics, genetic intervention to make living better. In England, the popular notion is to have a nurse in the home with a child, for the first 3 years of a child's life. In the notion that the nurse can teach the child right from wrong, and prepare an individual for person hood. 

The Christian message, "Christ-like," the new birth, born again, the righteousness of Christ replacing within the individual. The old man of sin and rejection. The new birth means, that when God looks at you through his spectacles, he sees not you and your indifference, but in you, the righteousness of Christ. 

We are a new creation, different. The problem with most believers I know, they do not want to be different. THEY LIKE THEIR LIFE AS IT IS. Much like the lives of their family and friends who are not believers. They want popularity, to chase the idols of success- money- notoriety. Most people I know, much prefer the lives of "The Rich and Famous" to the servitude life of Christ. Only twenty percent of Catholics go to mass. Thousands of Protestant- Baptist churches, close their doors every year. 

The parel, golden age, the white haired saints still in the fuse, watching their church and its pastor compromise, and become politically correct... The church, a country club with a steeple. Compromising with "Gods word," in order to dance to the tune of Madison Avenue... God becoming just a bell hop; prayer becoming just a quick fix. There is no real joy or genuineness in just pretending. 

The Christian life is not complicated, just tough. Our faith gives us freedom. The grace of knowing that "whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's" (Romans 14:8). Can anyone think of a greater joy than this? 

Memorial Day- a Veterans Twilight Years

Just a song a twilight, when the lights are low, 
And the flick'ring shadows softly come and go, 
Tho' the heart be weary, sad the day and long, 
Still to us at twilight comes Love's old song, 
comes Love's old sweet song.

Behind tall wire fences, tall hedges, and multi-million dollar houses, gated elites  communities, the big deals of our society. The cocktail party circuit, the power brokers of our community, on this Memorial Day, are enjoying life with their outdoor cooking- exotic cocktails. Most of them do not have any military family members to remember, they, and their families, were making the big bucks while the children of the poor hardworking "neighbors" of their nation, were giving life and limb on the battlefield. And, on this Memorial Day, most veterans, like this 85 year old veteran, is working, still making a living. 

Enabling this type patriotism, a government headed by a commander and chief who does not have a valid social security or selective service card. This alleged president is a pretender, a hoax. Using the social security card of a long dead Connecticut citizen. Both president Obama and his wife, lawyers, pretending to be protectors of the constitution, gave up their law licenses, along with their scruples.

A big sign in the veterans hospital, Fayettville NC proclaims "The price of freedom is visible here." Back when this now totally blind veteran had a shatter of vision in the left eye, he could see the phalanx of wheelchairs, real men with white canes, at every veterans facility.  Behind the masks of the people that work there, their hypocritical smiles, just because they smile at you does not mean they are happy (At the VA hospital in Durham, we sat there with numbers, waiting to be called. a battle scarred officer, just ahead of me... Crippled, marks all over his face. I said to the employee, who drew his blood just before she drew mine, "You just saw a real hero." Her reply, "I don't know why you old men do not just go ahead and die.") The employees at most VA hospitals, should just pack up and go home. The doctors at these facilities are required to ask the question "have you considered suicide?" My answer, always, "everyday of my life." (for a very long time, I will confess, I kept a bottle of pills just for that purpose. In my early years of total blindness, loneliness, tribulations and aggravations from every side- no one to assist with anything, I actually thought I could not make it on my own. But, our blessed lord kept reminded me, I AM ALL YOU NEED. I do not believe that god would have condemned me for suicide, nor anyone else that has reached a place who cannot continue with life. I have said that to many family members of friends who took that way out. We know that God forgave Moses, David, Paul, for murder. He is certainly capable of forgiving suicide. It has taken most of my life to fully realize the sovereignty, as well as the mercy- grace, of my creator). 

The Veterans Administration, Government, those of you that pay taxes, would be very happy if all veterans committed suicide. Just think how cheap it is to bury a veteran in a cheap "tin" casket with a flag. compared to giving a veteran the healthcare which he deserves. The taxpayer, in servitude to government- stupid beyond words to describe, goes right along with the support of the unproductive- welfare- entitlements- illegal's- government tax grants, to anyone for anything. Most veterans know that the best men they knew, are already buried.  Until The Korean War, battlefield deaths were buried on foreign soil (126,000). Korea, the government started bringing veterans home for burial (50,000 Korea, 58,000 Vietnam). I was still in service, but in a reserve capacity during Vietnam. I still remember the screams of my neighbor across the street, when her only sons casket was brought into their home. Killed in Vietnam. 

In Shakespeare's "McBeth", lady McBeth was constantly washing her hands after she helped murder the king. She said their was not enough perfume in Persia, water in the oceans of the world, to cleanse her hands from what she had done. WWI, one newspaper headline, "Great Battle Fought, Only One Combatant Killed." Just one man killed, but he was so important to his family. He only had one life also. There is not enough water in the oceans of the world, all the wars in history, to cleanse the hands of warriors, who have ended the lives of their fellow man... No matter the circumstances. During the Civil War during the Battle of Cold Harbor, over 20,000 were killed on both sides. Battle field covered with the bodies of dead soldiers and dead horses. One dying General, who's horse had been shot from under him, was negotiating between the corpses, and one dying soldier said to him "General are we winning?"

With death, you never win. Like the holocaust of Jews in Germany, like the holocaust of the unborn in China and even in America, the killing of gods greatest creation, the human body, is never winning. The human body- the human mind, capable of so much good: capable of so much horror: capable of beautiful words- beautiful music. Capable of so much love, toward everyone because every person is your neighbor, and Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31) Most young men's brains are not fully developed- wired until the age of 25. Young men, casualties of war, capable of so much love. Just think of what it does to young men to see their friends spattered by IUD's on the battlefield. Until WWII, bayonets were often used in warfare. Using the closeness- civility of swords- bayonets- horses, gives an entirely personal appearance to war, rather than the impersonal callousness of drones and bombs, dropped from the air by planes. Can we even imagine what it does to the lives of children? Who want only the security- safety from parents in homes. Again, Jesus told us, that it is better for a person to have a millstone hung around his neck, and dropped into the ocean (Matthew 18:86), then to abuse children, any children, any skin color, even those in so called third world countries. The eliteness at Memorial Day events, those who can afford to take a holiday. Those that make so much money from continuous warfare, do not think of the young men and women, who gave and then gave again, some everything, without any thoughts of discretion. Our fellow citizens living in Multi-million dollar homes, know nothing of communal showers- slit trenches, there is no pleasure in another's pain. But, the very least our fellow citizens can do, is demand that government care for the productive, instead of the unproductive. That in the big-bucks spent on trash television and other shows, should emphasize that lifestyles in America would be far different if not for the sacrifice of those in love with this country- willing to defend her. I have never understood those who get a thrill from sleeping in a tent on a campsite. But, they have the privilege of going inside a building during a storm.  

Those who relax on Memorial Day, do not know the reality of Memorial Day. Just as those who do not observe our lords supper, do not know the reality of redemption- salvation, paid for by the ultimate sacrifice, God himself, taking on the sin of the entire world. 

The only Memorial we are instructed to observe is the remembrance of what Christ did for us on a cross. We remember that his broken body, when we take a small piece of bread, is for our healing (Isaiah 53:5 1 Peter 2:24). In memory, we take a sip of wine "remembrance" of his blood, forgiveness of sin. 

On this Memorial Day, 2015, twilight years, this old veteran remembers those who gave their life for their country (and they had only one life also), as well as remembering, for the Christian, what Christ did for us on Calvary. this is true Christianity, true patriotism, and there is no reason the two remembrances ( in spite of this blarney of separation of church and state ) should not remembered together. 

#1736

Fathers Day and Heros

Nothing between, like worldly pleasure;
Habits of life, though harmless they seem,
Must not my heart from Him e’er sever;
He is my all, there’s nothing between.

There is a balm in Gilead (Jeremaih 8:22). There is a retrovi (rediscovery), magnificence in thinking again of your own father on this fathers day.

My mother and father were singers, at the old family church house, built by my ancestors (1874), They did not just "mumble" the old hymn's, as do most pretending Christians. You could hear them singing above the crowd. Much later in life, in my private practice which I enjoyed for a few years following the military, many members of churches and other communities (and my parents visited churches everywhere), would say to me, "our church revival never got started until your parents came to the meetings, and we could hear them singing."

Perhaps the earliest memory of my own father, was hearing him sing early in the mornings, as he was around the farm, feeding the hogs, work animals, and milking the cows. I can still hear him singing, his favorites, nothing between and, "I'll take my vacation in Heaven." He never took a vacation, in his entire life. He was the workingness man anyone could know. He never had anytime for the "worldly pleasures" of most men such as, hunting, fishing, sports events, he was always busy. could find more work for his sons on a wet day, then most men could find for their boys on a dry day. If nothing else, he would say, "Thomas go to corn-crib and shuck corn." we had a large farm which had been in the family a very long time. Mules or tractor, he would keep us all busy from early morning to darkness. Then, on Saturdays, holidays, he would be up early doing the usual chores (hogs, cows, chickens etc.), and then drive the 5 miles into town, to stand on his feet all day long and cut hair. This he did my entire life. One of the many preachers at his funeral said, "There is no telling how many heads he cut for 10 cents a head during the great depression." Of course his funeral was held at the old family church, with its many additions over the years, which he and my cousins mostly built. I still remember the day that he and I were working on one addition at the church. I was holding up the drywall for him to nail. I said, "why are not others here to help us at the church?" I still remember the tears rolling down his face, as he said, "They don't love our church as much as we do."

Every church member has a 168 hour week. Most think their salvation is adequate just for that one hour on Sunday morning. He believed Christianity involved every hour- second, of every day. Early on Sunday mornings, Winter: building fires in the wood-burning heaters throughout the church. Summer: opening the windows throughout the church in all Sunday school rooms. He would always go the mile to the church to make it comfortable for others. If the weather were so bad that the preacher- pastor could not get there, then he would conduct the service. When I was a child, Church service, only one Sunday a month. But, there was always Sunday school, prayer meetings, visitations, etc. The men of the church were responsible for these services. My father was also chairman of the school board, small- poor country public school. This writer, like his sister and two brothers, like his parents- grand-parents went to this same school for 12 years. I still remember the principal of the school driving to the farm, going up to the field to find my father on the tractor, and discuss problems with him. Often, my father would come to the house, put his toolbox in his truck, and head to the school house to take care of a building. It was much easier for my father and principal to repair something, then to do paperwork and the county finally get around to it.

Once, when I was a student at Chapel Hill, I told the founder of modern education in North Carolina, Dr. Guy Phillips, that story. He said, "Your father might not have been a college graduate but he was a real educator."

Children must have good memories. I so pity those who do not. As poor as we were, dirt road- no power, phone, or running water (the embarrassment of outside bathrooms both at our home and the church). Prominent people would often visit our church because they had heard of its beuty and the great song services there. I still remember the walkers, owners of the Ford dealership. My parents invited them to go to our home for lunch. They hardly knew them, but the Walkers went to our home, and years later, as my patients, they both said to me, "In our many years of church life, that was the first real Christianity we had ever seen."

I remember another time that a couple, the Sassers came to the church, my parents remembered through their ancestors. They invited them to our home for lunch. My mother usually had two large tables of people every church Sunday. In later years, this couple, school teachers, told me the same thing, that they had never forgotten that hospitality.  

At my fathers funeral, packed house, after I had led the family in as the oldest child, one floor reef was brought in late. It was by far the largest there. One of the funeral directors, came over and handed me the card that was on it. I just stuck it in my pocket. Later, a friend read the card to me, "In memorial to the only man I ever knew, in church, or out, whoever spoke to me about the welfare of my soul." The card was signed by an NC state senator.

His last years, my mother having died of cancer at age 62, I would call him and tell him I was coming up for a visit, to take him out to lunch. He was so proud to see me in my Cadillac. My driver would always say, "He will be sitting on the front porch watching for you." He gave me many of the values, that have kept me going during my years of disappointment, blindness. He was the sermon, instead of a message. He was the example of hard work. Disciplined living. I believe he will be sitting on another porch, watching for his four children.  

#1735

The Plight of Phobias

"The only thing to fear, is fear itself." -FDR

John MacDuff, very consoling
Play Audio! Download Audio

   ~  ~  ~  ~

Do not be afraid, for I am with you!

(James Smith, "The Believer's Companion in Seasons of Affliction and Trouble" 1842)

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you!" Isaiah 43:5 

The presence of a friend in trouble is cheering and consoling. But it is too often the case, that our friends, like the friends of Job, prove to be miserable comforters. They do not enter into our troubles--or they cannot help us. The advice they give at times--only aggravates our woe, and adds to our distress. 

But, believer, your God says, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you!" What a thought is this! God, the great, the glorious, the omnipotent Jehovah--is with me!
With me to help me, 
with me to comfort me, 
with me to sanctify me, 
with me to save me, 
with me as a kind benignant Father,
with me in every place, in every trouble, in every conflict,
with me through all my journey and for evermore, 
with me on the bed of sickness,
with me  to hold communion with me,
with me to listen to my sighs,
with me to number my tears, and
with me to secure me from all injury! 

Appearances may be very dark; the night may seem very long; and your pains, weakness, and fears may be many and great. Still, if the Lord is with you, you may sing, "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty--yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!" Habakkuk 3:17-18

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We have published J.R. Miller's insightful short article, "The Blessing of Quietness".

The word phobia added to a word means "morbid fear of." For instance, if you are sensitive to sunlight, you have photophobia: xenophobia, fear of other countries: claustrophobia: fear of small spaces. It is truly amazing what words can do to add to or subtract from ones vocabulary. One political campaign, some years ago, the opponent hired a man to stand at the edge of each of his opponents speeches, and just say these words, "You know that he is an octogenarian." Of course it only meant that the man is 80 years old, but, to the un-initiated, everything is obscure. And the man lost his race because everyone thought he was a pervert of some type. The word fear is used 365 times in Gods word. The 1189 chapters of the bible, the chapter just halfway, Psalm 1:18, the mid verse of the entire bible, " It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." All god requires of us is trust. My question, always, how does anyone live in this world, without being able to trust in God? You certainty cannot trust in anyone else. If you have one friend whom you can trust completely, you are a very blessed person. This writer has always been a loner, perhaps, and because, I learned early in life the heartbreak of betrayal... The fact that I found so few people with whom I could put any trust. You could put your feet under the same eating table with family members your entire life, and still find that you cannot trust them. Particularly when it comes to the division of your parents estate. You can sleep in bed with a wife or husband, and learn later, what real hatred is all about when you go to the divorce court. Or the custody of children.

Even Jesus bride here on earth, his kingdom, his Church, mostly grows with addition and often subtraction, multiplying by dividing. Some of the worst comments I ever heard from people who are supposedly created in the image of God, came from the members of dividing Churches.

For those of us who are disabled, who must depend on others just to stay alive, life's greatest disappointments involve caretakers to whom you pay good money, whom you trust, pilfering through your property and taking your things. For the blind, you never realize your losses. We must cling to the "blessed insurance" that the God we serve is able to take on our fears, just as he is able to take on our needs, that he is able to subtract from the thieves, as well as add to those who have been harmed by theft.

Fear probably adds more stress to the homeostasis of an individual, that any other neuron stimuli. I am convinced that most strokes, most cancer, most heart-attacks, cripple and kill because of stress, and that stress because of fear. Most of the things which we fear, fire- vehicle or plane crashes- heights- depths- starvation- etc, never happen. The Christian, of all people, should not have such fear. He tells us that he knows every sparrows fall, that the very hairs on our head are numbered.
"And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin" (Matthew 6:28). ^" Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" (Matthew 6:26).

Perhaps it was like that with Alexander The Great, or even those troops with General Joseph Stilwell. There is no fear like battlefield warfare. It is beyond my comprehension that parents will spend the time and money, give the loving care which they give to their sons and daughters, and then send them to useless wars, which give great financial profit to the elates who keep them going. These young people, mostly just old enough to get a drivers license, not old enough to drink alcohol, often away from home the first time in their life, never having been exposed to the harshness- brutality of mankind or even animal life on any level, see their friends battered- bruised- butchered, right in front of their eyes. Many are often physically battered themselves, but if not physically disabled, mentally and psychologically disabled for the rest of their lives. And then, the talking heads, people who make more money in one month, than most Americans make in a lifetime, cry great crocodile tears about veterans, and what they have given to their country. The Veterans Administration is the greatest fear of every veteran, the family of every veteran. The most inept agency of federal government it laments about veteran suicide. Face the facts; the VA would like to see every veteran commit suicide... Get them out of the way. It is far, far cheaper for VA and the government to bury every veteran in a cheap casket with a cheap flag, than to give every veteran healthcare and a pension. Believe me, I know. This old blind veteran never got so much as a white cane from the VA. Found my white canes at junk stores. It took 50 years for VA to send me a machine that could read books to me.

The fear for you, the public, your treatment is on the way.

#1734

Mandala

(Search for Completeness)

"Make me a channel of blessing today,
Make me a channel of blessing, I pray;
My life possessing, my service blessing,
Make me a channel of blessing today."


No human being blessed with life, blessed with nominal intelligence, can escape the knowledge of cause and effect, cannot recluse himself from the responsibility of cause and effect. It takes courage to live life. 90% of the Christian faith is just raw courage. In Mexico, in North Africa, and other areas of the world, this writer- world traveler, has seen young men dive from high cliffs into water depths below. This takes courage. As a field grade Army officer, I have seen young men jump from airplanes, hoping that their parachute, prepared by someone else, will open. This takes Courage. In the inter sanctum of the human mind, gods greatest creation, the most amazing thing in life, hope. Most of life's activities, even its sacraments, involves hope. 

Hope is involved in marriage, if it works out, fine, if not, expected.

Hope is involved in rearing a child, especially a strong-willed- mentally challenged- prodigy or precocious child. Most of the geniuses of the world, were unusual children. With parents, it is a matter of working and waiting. 

Hope is involved in investing, stocks, real-estate, inventions, even planting a crop. The greatest investment I ever knew, and I have been a large investor in both stocks and real-estate, was the investment on my parents, in their farm, fertilizer and seed, planting crops. The fertilizer- seed- soil, could produce nothing without god given rain and climate. 

Hope is involved in education, whether grade school or graduate school. The worlds greatest investors- financiers- planners, never went very far in education. They had a drive- mental capacity which ephemera (books and paper) cannot give. A PHD, man or women, without common sense can starve to death in a time of disaster. 

Burying anyone is an act of hope. You think you know, but you never know, the soul condition of the dead. The eternal destination of the soul is within the providence of god and god alone. Many of us, and in fact, most of us, are good pretenders and may have fooled others. Ourselves, we cannot fool. Within the inter sanctum of the mind, our hope is established. Some scientists have tried to measure the weight of the soul. The soul does not have mass- weight- identification. We all have one, and it is what makes us "who" we are. Other body parts can be transplanted. At clinical death, the soul, here now- their then, leaves this worn- torn- used body, and the body is disposed of with hope; resurrected hope. 

All is not well that ends well. You can have a very successful life, living and dying well, by living the simple life... Simple ambitions, simple lifestyle, simple unchallenged job, never wanting more than a simple car- house- clothing. One man said he had no enemies because he had outlived them all. Everyone will love you if you are never a challenge to anyone about anything. If you are just a pushover. 

Science is about investigating the unknown. Untying and looking inside the baggage which everyone carries around. Intelligentsia: medical, psychological- governmental, involves the spending of tremendous funds to uncover the obvious. For instance, the poisons you put into your body, result in slow, if not instant, death. For instance, you cannot bomb into your way of thinking, nationals who have spent thousands of years living their lives a certain way.

When I was a young boy, this was before the military and my time of total blindness, my eyesight was very poor. Back then, parents or teachers, never payed any attention to children s eyes. Especially a child with a good  mind who could learn in spite of anything. I was never chosen on a team to play ball because I could not see how to hit a ball. I had to memorize everything the teacher said because I could not see the chalkboard. It was only when I went to get a drivers license that my myopia (nearsightedness) was discovered, I went to an optometrist for eyeglasses and the world became, in the truest sense, a cause and effect. I could see leafs on trees. Could see as well as hear, birds in the air. 

There are images, from the eyes into the brain, which I can never escape. I will never escape the images of the black- segregated school houses of my youth. Those framed buildings, painted white, with their outside toilets and hand water pumps. While, right down the road, as poor as they were, brick school houses for the white children. And, we expect the black race to forget this disparity. I will never forget images of refuges at border crossings in third world countries. The border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, fathers and mothers with all their earthly belongings in large sacks over their shoulders. Frail shoe-less children, bare feet on icy roads. This writer, raised in the poverty of Eastern North Carolina, dirt road, no power- phone- water lines, working in the hot sun an entire day, in green tobacco to get paid one dollar. Could I ever forget the hard work and sweat of my parents? I still remember their thrill in selling their first tobacco for fifty-cents a pound.

The picture I paint of life is not all darkness. Thank god I lived in a time of beautiful music, even beautiful movies- love stories. Love stories between real men and real women... None of this same sex marriage insanity. 

Can I describe the person I would like to have been? Firstly, good looking... Looks will get you further than anything else. Secondly, a pedigree of wealth and influence... Ancestral prominence. Life is hard enough at best. But is a real tragedy on such an uneven playing field. This has been my main quarrel with god. It would be so much easier to live the Christian life, without trials and problems. If only god would "quick fix everything with prayer." If only god were a bell-hop type deity... just come running when we need him. If only I could hold onto god in one hand, and the world with the other. If only warfare against Satan could be accomplished from an air-conditioned foxhole... Demanding nothing. God wanting nothing from me except pretension. If only I could live like my family, my associates, my fellow church members, and most of my friends, just playing games with god. Nothing settle, nothing complete. 

#1733

Need for Shepherding

"Savior, like a shepherd lead us,  much we need thy tender care;  in thy pleasant pastures feed us,  for our use thy folds prepare.  Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus!  Thou hast bought us, thine we are."

He will carry the lambs in His arms!

(Arthur Pink)

"He will feed His flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young." Isaiah 40:11 

Our Lord has . . .
  many weak children in His family,
  many dull pupils in His school,
  many fearful soldiers in His army,
  many lame sheep in His flock. 
Yet He bears with them all, and casts none away.

By Christ's gracious aid, the believer is preserved from being totally submerged by his doubts and fears. 

By His renewing operations, the spark of faith is maintained, despite all the fierce winds of Satan which assail. 

By His mighty enabling, the sorely harassed and groaning Christian is kept from sinking in abject despair. 

By His quickening power, hope is still kept alive, and the voice of prayer is still faintly heard.

There is no danger of the individual saint being overlooked amidst the multitude of supplicants who daily and hourly present their various petitions--for an infinite Mind is as capable of paying the same attention to millions, as if only one individual were seeking its attention!

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are . . . Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

 Dr. Morris, world traveler, has seen shepherds in the 20th century. Both in Africa, and the Scandinavian countries. I remember talking with a Shepherd near Bergen Norway. He talked about how dumb sheep really are, "That he must keep his eyes on them all the time." Of course, Christianity was a foreign language to him, but I said, "We are all so much like dumb sheep, so easy to stray, we so need direction."

In my personal life, I so need direction, so wish I had a shepherd tell me what to do with most decisions I have to make.

I was talking with two officials from a local University just yesterday. I said, " I get so tired of these paid advertisements about how people should respect veterans, do you know the VA pays the NFL and other sports programs to tell the public how they should respect veterans? The VA does not respect veterans at all, they talk about the disgrace of so many veterans committing suicide (3 each day). The VA would like it if all veterans committed suicide, it would be so much cheaper for the country to buy a cheap 'tin' casket and a flag, and burry every veteran. Instead of the continued expense of sick care, such as it is, at a veterans hospital." I have written about this before, and will not go into it again. The insult to the veteran, and the embarrassment to the nation, is the VA "sick care." Each time a VA doctor asks me, a totally blind- 100% disabled- Medical officer veteran, if I have any thoughts of suicide, my reply always, "everyday." But that gives me the opportunity such as the opportunity I get in every area of life, to present my Christian testimony. Because, without flinching, "my faith keeps me going." I did not wear the uniform, to get free healthcare. In fact, I keep paying for my healthcare. Not that I have not paid for VA care, but my civilian doctors want me to keep coming to them.

In the poverty ridden home were I grew up, and the images just as vivid now in my blinded eyes, as it was as a child when I could see, there was a picture which my parents had acquired early in their marriage, of Jesus carrying a small lamb next to his heart. I used the scripture above, I would always say in prayer at any church or institution were I was asked to pray, that we can "find grace to help in time of need." Our faith is all based on grace and I so need that grace to walk blinded in faith. "For we walk by faith not by sight" (Corinthians 5:7)

#1732

Narcissism

Vanity and narcissism — the compulsive need to be admired and praised — undermine one's courage, for one then fights on someone else's conviction rather than one's own.

    Rollo May - Man's Search for Himself (1953)

Most of us make the mistake of weighing and measuring others with the same scale and yardstick that we measure and weigh ourselves. When this writer lies down to die, he wants to think and remember that every fellow human being he ever met, anywhere, on his many trips around the world, even among his most personal associates and family members, that in the souls of them all, whichever way they went, Heaven or Hell, that their was some goodness in the soul of all of them. Please don't let me think that I was narcissistic enough to judge anyone else, when I was only a sinner saved by grace. 

When Hitler started his book burning, attempting to cleanse the third right, everything bad in his nation, the first book on his list was the biography of Helen Keller. There have been many great person hoods in the history of the world. But, perhaps no person as great as Helen Keller... A women born deaf, and blind. Most of us who heard her speak, could not understand anything she said. But, other than Jesus himself, few people have had the influence on the lives of others that she had. 

Is it a coincidence that she is buried in floor of the National Cathedral, in Washington DC, right next to president Woodrow Wilson, who has been declared the most Narcissistic man who ever lived. It has been said that president Wilson was so narcissistic, that he wanted to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral. A more recent president, William Clinton, is said to be just as narcissistic... That he wants to be the commanding prescience in every room that he enters. We have all known people so narcissistic, that way, because they were blessed with good looks, A truly gravatosk personality, or had in some way become powerful because of money, or ancestry, or brain accomplishment. Lets face it, their are those who just stand out above the crowd. 

God despises pride- narcissism, he allowed the children of Israel to wonder around and then die, for forty years in a wilderness desert in order to "humble" them. Jesus, God- man, God who put on a tent of human flesh and lived among us, said in the most famous sermon ever preached, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).  Paul said, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves" (Philippians 2:3). Would it not make 21st century Christians, Christians so despised by the world, feel better, if Jesus, when harassed by Pilate, and his unlawful judgment, had done some small miracle, such as a swarm of bees going in circles around Pilate's head, and showing the accursed Roman leader, as he has always shown the world, just who is "boss." But would it have made any difference? Those Romans who arrested him in Garden  of Gethsemane saw him restore the ear to the servant of Malchus which Peter had cut off with his sword, and it did not seem to have any affect. Jesus broke up every funeral procession he ever met, healed the sick, fed thousands, with one boys lunch, still he had very few followers. I am convinced that only his resurrection  made an eclylsmic change in the lives of  his disciples.  Jesus, Paul, saints throughout history, "those of whom the world is not worthy" (Hebrews 11:38), were humble in their greatness. Many humble grandparents, teachers, pastors, neighbors, have died never knowing their influence on someone's life. Those who have had the greatest influence on this old blind veterans life, have not been people with power or money, but those with a humble and contract spirit.  

This old soldier found that veterans don't talk about the war, they just get over it. The healing profession should be more humble, our immune system is all we have going for us. The poisons we put in our body from most doctors, generally do more harm than good, shutting the healing process down. Effectively killing the kidneys and liver. This old veteran, world traveler, is made happy knowing the enjoyment of life by others, than in the darkness- loneliness- exasperation of his own. I have concurred the feeling that I had contributed something to the world. I believe there is healing in forgiveness. I have forgiven the employees whom I was paying good money to help me, as they were stealing from me. I have forgiven the many dealings with people who I knew had only one thing on their mind. Whether a real-estate transaction, car repair, or even shoe repair, "how much money can I get out of him." It was my business that I have lived so frugally, never bought anything unless it was on sale. I once found a Kennedy silver half dollar in the mud, it was so ugly, but I washed it and it shined. That is my hope and joy. I have been so rotten and dirty, like everyone else in the mire. But, Jesus took me up and washed me of all my narcissism, even my sinful nature. 

#1731

Rolling On

       
A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself within.

Will Durant

Your writer is a totally blind, 100% disabled, Medical Officer Veteran. My world revolves around the audio media. I hear overpaid announcers talk about every type of sports fields, parks, other activities paid for by my taxes. Yet, the blind-crippled-disabled, can not participate in most of these things. As one restaurateur told me, "We do not want handicap people in our business because it makes the normal people feel bad." It is very much that way at the church house, school house, court house. It takes "walking by faith" to get the disabled and disenfranchised through this "veil of tears."

I so enjoy hearing actors portray other people... walk into character. I like the Broadway stage (For many years I owned a condominium in Manhattan, to this day still have 250 playbills from Broadway plays. I heard some of the great actors, Claudette Colbert-Mickey Rooney-Lauren Bacall-etc). One of the great musicals of my lifetime, Merrily We Roll Along. My lifetime has been observing a nation of people, just rolling along toward the brink of disaster. Our nation, indeed the world, will not end with a bang or even a whimper, but from rotness within. Flying into Manhattan, the lady in the harbor always gave me a chill.

It is not politically correct to even discuss the morals and decadence of our country, we have become a profane culture. Government agencies are like card sharks, always dealing a few cards to the underlings, while they deal themselves a royal flush. I have never been able to swallow-foolishness involved in separating Americans because of skin color, because of certain club-fraternal memberships, because some ancestor was lucky enough to strike it rich... not because of ability, but just pure dumb luck. My fellow Americans, even in my lifetime have forgotten that we are all pilgrims on the same journey, it just so happens that some have better roadmaps.

For those of us who did not win life's lottery, it is so easy to become discouraged. This totally blind veteran, born in poverty, graduating from a small country school, 13 in my graduating class, working my way through 8 years of university so that I can jump through every hoop the government forced in order to professionally-militarily serve my country. Was first robbed of my dreams, then my security, and lastly, at the sunset of life, my dignity. At the time this writer went to school, there were no student loans or grants and from poverty, you worked your way through.

News people are so excited about some cartoons published in France. There has been a 1,500 year battle between the followers of Islam and the followers of Jesus. Seven hundred million Islamic women are not allowed to look into the eyes of any man. In Saudi Arabia, women not allowed to drive a car. This writer, world traveler, traveled in many of the 42 Muslim countries, it was not unusual to see chopped off hands. Yet, like the Paris magazine that published cartoons about Mohammad, no one has criticized the same magazine for publishing cartoons about Christianity, nor the enslavement of women in Islamic countries. Our American "do-gooder" women just concerned about women within the borders of North America, the few borders that are left.

When we think of the holiness of God, the discipline and character of our ancestors, we tremble in the knowledge that God is still in charge. Just this week, a national program revealed that 19% of all high school seniors have had at least four sexual experiences before graduation. We know that 52% of all black babies are aborted. A mother is the holiest thing alive.

For most of my lifetime, pretenders on stage, church house, school house and even at my house, we did not want not to be different from unbelievers. Sinners have so much fun. Madison Avenue and all advertisers want all Christians to dress, talk, act like unbelievers. Christians are so ashamed of God's word... just keep your spiritual feelings inside the church house. We don't worry about fooling God, just fool everyone else. The Caretaker of the planets of the universe is to busy counting the hairs on our head (Luk, 12:7) to notice our sins, indifference, pretending, play acting.

Here we are, at the first of another year, things are certainly no better. In the Old Testament, the beginning of the year, devotion to God meant the presentation of First Fruits. You must put flesh and blood on the people of the Bible, their faith, their character. They brought the first of their harvest, the first of their livestock, even presented their first children to God. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. If under Jewish law God required First Fruits, the tithe, certainly under grace we should give "cheerfully" First Fruits of every blessing. Whether it is a stock transaction or a real estate sale, the time is rapidly coming when the Christian Testimony, even in America will be outlawed in the public square, restricted to a house of worship. If Christ is our life, if his righteousness possesses us our profession, to that possession must be evident in our daily walk, only then can we "merrily roll along." You cannot sell-give-share anything which you do not possess.

My only child, my son is a Ph.D. Professor at a large Baptist Seminary. He goes out with Seminarians to witness to the unsaved in the community. In one park, he and a student found two fifth-grade students having sex on a park bench. How much worse can this ungodly world get? Do those in the pulpits and pews of America really care? Are we content to just "roll on"? The history of this planet involves a battle for the souls of mankind.