Empathy (2008)

A new word in the lexicon in recent years is the word empathy. Empathy is the 'capacity' to share and understand another's 'state of mind' or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself. Empathy does not necessarily imply compassion, or empathic concern because this capacity can be present in context of compassionate or cruel behavior.

I first heard this word used by a commander of a large military installation when he described the gut feeling we as survivors of the Korean conflict must feel toward those in the hospitals and rehabilitation centers attempting to adjust to living without the constant fear of death. Most of us have seen the stiff frozen bodies of our comrades stacked like chord wood near the UDSM Reservoir in Korea. This word should not be news to those of us who bear the name of our savior Christ in our daily lives but I did not have to advance very far in age to learn quickly that walking and talking are entirely different matters. In Christianity, as well as other contacts (especially politics) because those who claim one thing often disdain the same depending on their company.

I believe the best example I could ever give of how I have been personally treated as a 100% disabled service connected totally blind veteran is in recent years when I was asked to speak to the Downtown Lions Club, Wilmington NC. The pastor of the First Baptist Church in the same city said to me if I had any criticism of the church, I was in the wrong church. The criticism there as in the case of the Lion’s Club is given with the hope that the word empathy might get lost in their vocabulary.

Near my home, which I built 50 years ago, and have lived in since, in the downtown area of the city, there was a large retirement home called the Katherine Kennedy Home. Several of the patients at the home had met me because one often asks me to eat with them on holidays knowing there would be no one there and I did not have any family. The superintendent of the retirement home was a member of the Lion’s Club and he had asked me several times to speak to the club. For many years of my life, after returning from the military, more energetic and egotistical than now, I was known as a speaker, not only at civic clubs but also at high school and college graduations, as well as many other places. After he spoke to me about this several times, I finally decided to speak to the club because they are supposed to be in the forefront in sight and sight saving activity. They have their famous “white cane drive” which raises funds for the blind. It is not easy for a blind person to do anything but with the assistance of my housekeeper we retrieved slides I had made at both the North and South Poles. So I decided to give my presentation on the difference of the Arctic and Antarctic and my visits there. Of course most ice and glaciers look the same but taking much time to analyze the slides to me, we arranged them with me presenting first, the Antarctic and then the Arctic. I numbered and memorized each slide so that the person using the projector would only have to give me the number. On the day of the meeting the retirement home superintendent was unable to pick me up and so a friend, well known Lion statewide, former school superintendent, Wallace West picked me up at my house and took me to the meeting place in a downtown motel. This blind person has never learned to eat delicately so instead of enjoying the wonderful foods the members were enjoying, I just asked for a cup of coffee and sandwich. Wallace presented me as a member of his church having represented the Baptist on a hospital board, and being in the real estate business in the city. He said NOTHING of my disability. I was, as always, dressed like I had just stepped out of GQ Magazine and I thought I gave a wonderful presentation of the difference in the two ends of the world. At the close, I said “I admire your club for your work with the blind and the partial sighted citizens. I want you to know that the slides you have seen were made by a blind man and the man who presented them to you is a totally blind doctor who has served your country”.

When I returned to my house, my housekeeper said “Oh they must have been thrilled to death with your presentation”. I said, and I know this is hard to believe, “not one member of the club, not one person thanked me or said anything like 'you are an inspiration'”.

Yesterday I was asked to another club as I have been asked many times before. Other than church functions, I do not speak anywhere anymore since that one distasteful day at the Lion’s Club. As I told my housekeeper that day, American people do not appreciate anything anymore. The only thing that can excite or inspire them is pornography. I believe I still have the same slides in the same order in the same projector.

Two years ago, I was going up the steps in a public building in the city, a young woman came rushing down the steps, knocked me down, broke my white cane, but on her way to the front door of the building she told one of my friends, who was coming into the YMCA, “please tell the old man I knocked down I am sorry, but I am late for a meeting at church”.

There is no reason for me to exaggerate about either of these instances but it is time for people to realize as Mark Twain once said, “politeness costs so little”. Helen Keller said in her 1904 biography, “no one except another blind person can understand the isolation and cruelty directed towards blind people”.

Getting back to my broken white cane and the Lion’s Club, we sent two messages online to the headquarters of the North Carolina Lions Club (7050 Camp Dogwood Drive, Sherrills Ford NC 28673 and nclions@nclf.org), we never received any response. Of course, one can always find an old white cane at any thrift store but is it not sad that the Lion’s Clubs of NC are not anxious to supply such. When there was no response, I called my VA doctor, Dr Beachampf at the VA hospital in Durham, and asked him if someone there, as they had in the past, with a talking watch, could send me a red tipped white cane. His answer was, “can you imagine the paperwork involved,in a place like this, in getting something like that?” This gives you some impression on how much the military values soldiers who have given their eyes.

Some years ago, remembering the Wilson Library at UNC-Chapel Hill, I decided to give the money to establish a Heritage Room for the early founders of the Free Will Baptist, Mount Olive College and denomination. I gave $100,000 as a start on this project and although it is impossible for me to see it, I understand it is greatly appreciated by visitors to the college campus. We, as Americans, have evidently forgotten our heritage, our students have been so “dumbed down” that they know about their own family heritage. In fact, I understand many students have no idea who their own father happens to be. Long ago, it was suggested that the ideas taught in schools one decade, in the next decade will be those expressed in the halls of government.

The early American Indian braves possessed such a heritage that the brave could put his ear down to the ground and almost precisely predict the location and number of buffalo many miles away. We need to look at the idol “television set” to which most people worship everyday and we can easily predict our future.

Does it surprise you that 95% of all inmates in American prisons are male and that 95% of all comic books are purchased by males? Does it surprise you that 50% of all American girls have sexually transmitted diseases when sexual activity has been encouraged in every phase of American life. Does it surprise you that 50% of all students who attend so called “Christian Private Schools” say they do not believe in God? Does it surprise you that 80% of all college students who were reared in church-going “Christian” homes and, when at home, still active in the church, say they “no longer believe in God?” Does it surprise you that 37% of all live births in this country are to single women? Does it surprise you that $42 billion a year is spent on dog food in this country, more than is given to all churches? Then it should not surprise you that we are rapidly becoming a country without empathy and as general Colin Powell in a speech to the RNC, about 10 years ago, said “shame is a lost word in most vocabularies”.

Predictability

Much in life and nature is very predictable and we cling to that predictability because most of our problems are so unpredictable. Once, I was asked to speak before a Lion's group and I asked the head of the organization what he would like for me to speak about. Since their emphasis is on blindness, I thought I had been asked because I had been blind for a very long time and of course, was licensed and practiced as a military eye doctor. He said, “You are the most traveled man in the country and we would like for you to speak on some of your travels.” I said, how about the difference in the Arctic and the Antarctic, both 4.5 million square miles of ice, and my exploration of both the North and South areas of our Earth would be of interest. Of course, the difference in the North Pole and the South Pole is dramatic. The North Pole is a large body of water, surrounded by land; the South Pole is a large body of land surrounded by water. The animals at the South Pole have never been hunted and are not afraid of human beings, whereas, at the North Pole, the wildlife, having been hunted by the Eskimos, are very much afraid of human life.

The most unforgettable sight of the Arctic were the large cliffs, almost totally covered with birds, Terns, the best known migratory animal in existence. The bird migrates 24,000 miles each year, from its nesting areas in the Arctic to areas in the Antarctic, pole to pole, seeing more sunlight than any animal on earth. This small bird, which measure 13-15 inches in length with a wingspan of 26 inches, was blessed by God with a small compass in the brain, eyes which are guided by stars, and the physiology determining biometric direction. The creativity and omnipotence of God never ceases to amaze those who glorify Him with their minds. Like the Monarch Butterfly, which weighs about 1 milligram, raised in Canada, but with the most bewitching interlocking signals known in all creation, migrates each year from an exact spot in Canada to an exact spot in Mexico. Genetically, they give to their offspring, the ability to follow the same pattern, year after year. One who does not believe in miracles has never studied the marvels and miracles of nature.

Discipline and training of children is a good prediction of well-behaved, achieving children. Discipline and training in the military is a prediction of what you can expect before attempting a mission. (Officers can not fraternize with enlisted men and parents can not be friends with their children) The farmer can put a sapling in the ground, seed in the ground, and with water and sunlight, you can predict outcome; growing trees and crops.

The greatest tragedy in American life is the demolishing of public education. The reason why there has been such an increase in private schools and the homeschooling of many students, is because most parents LOVE THEIR CHILDREN. They will not expose them to the mediocrity and horror show of behavior in present day public schools. One of my assistants, mother of 5 school-aged children, home-schools her children; because she is determined that the manners and values she has taught them at home will not be disintegrated by atheist teachers and rebellious students in the public schools. Ask any public school teacher, old, young, black, white, and they will tell you that their greatest problem is undisciplined children coming from 'sin-ravaged' homes. Every time I meet a young couple, with a small child, the first thing I say, when I see their devotion to their child, “Whatever you have to do, whatever frugality you must experience, DO NOT DARE ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GO TO A PUBLIC SCHOOL; the breeding ground of crime in this country.”

The truth is the truth, whether anyone believes it or not. The truth is, we thought integration would bring all students up to a certain level; we have found, to our sorrow, that all students have been brought down to a much lower level. Recently, I had a plumber working in a building. (and I always attempt to know my 'help' so that I can determine if I want to use them again in the future) I thanked him for coming in the emergency and he said, “Anytime you need me, call me. I work night and day and will continue working night and day because it costs me so much money to send my children to a private school. But, I love my children too much to put them into the calamity of the public school system.” Our ancestors knew and we can predict, a well-disciplined school with well-trained teachers will turn out well-prepared students.

A Christian teacher will not belong to the NEA. (National Education Association) She will not give her dues to an organization which is pro-death, promotes the killing of the most innocent. The NEA, has always, without exception, like other Unions, prodded, protected and promoted in time and money, the pro-choice candidates of the Democrat party. At their recent convention in San Diego, some pro-life NEA members begged the convention to just stay 'neutral' in their pro-abortion stance. But, as always, the NEA voted to continue their anti-life, pro-abortion support of the Democrat party. The NEA, like most Unions, want power instead of principle. The paradox of the world, is that a teacher's union, depending on their very livelihood by the birth of children and building of schools, supports their own decline. Even a bird will not defecate in his own nest!

God's Word in every iota of history in the church, will prove to you that you can predict discipleship in the church. Moses' greatest problem in leading the children of Israel out of slavery, preparing them for habitation of the Promised Land, was that some non-believers had left with them and so, as in most Christian churches, you have the problems of a 'mixed multitude'. Anytime you have unsaved, unredeemed, 'card signers', who have just smilingly walked the aisle, thinking that church membership adds to their résumé but have no idea of repentance or being a 'new creation in Christ', bringing with them their knowledge and attachment to the world, I predict you will have problems and I will predict that you will have what is known in Baptist circles as 'church math', multiplication by dividing. God has given us the promise and the prediction (He knows how to protect his bride) that just playing church, just haphazardly filling pews, putting anyone in an office simply because they are willing to serve, will not bring much fruit, a prediction of a very poor harvest.

Light has come into the world but, the unsaved, in church and out, prefer darkness to light. Like everyone else, I get taken in, surprised, not by things, but by people; the most unpredictable entities on earth.

A black woman worked for me for a few months as a secretary, on a part-time basis, her regular job was at a US Post Office. We were in my office, I was dictating about some things I was trying to sell, and I had the television set on when the planes hit the World Trade Center. I was lamenting about the disaster while she was just dancing all over the room, talking about how happy she was that it had happened, that she had lived in New York, and how much she despised the people there. I said, “These are human beings you are talking about, jumping out of those windows, they have every skin color and are probably from many nationalities.” She said, “I don't care. I despise all of them. I know how I have been treated in this world.” Just like another black woman, who worked for me, obviously full of hatred for law enforcement, she said when she worked in a restaurant kitchen, that she and everyone else, spat in the food of every law enforcement person being served in the restaurant. They tell a blind person these things because they know I can not identify them. I can predict, that if you report such actions to the police, NOTHING will be done. Now, you can not predict this type of behavior. These women had children, they attended church; I wonder what is preached from the pulpit of that church. For that matter, I wonder what is preached from the pulpit of MOST churches.“Sins ruin and Christ's redemption”, his commandment to love one another, are NOT debatable! We can predict, with certainty, that as long as the American psyche is so split, so filled with hatred one toward another, even toward human beings you do not know, we can continue to predict failure in our spiritual as well as our physical existence.

A country, a church, a family, anything divided, CAN NOT STAND.
The most predictable thing in the world is God's Love. The most predictable words in the world, to get you through any storm of life are “Trust in God”. Just the following verses, a part of your being in every activity of your living, are the “Alpha and Omega”.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

A Chorus Line

#445

A Chorus Line was a long running Broadway play. I remember that it was in a theater next to Shubert Alley. Blind, when walking alone, I had to have certain land marks and Shubert Alley was my land mark for most theaters. The play involved a group of girls, mostly black, auditioning for a part in a Broadway play on a large, vacant stage with just the choreographer. Each one had a story to tell of being sexually molested as a child, or some other horrific experience, on their way up the ladder to performing in a Broadway play. Always, as with most of us who do not fit into the norm of the talented sophisticate, whether disabled or disowned, we know the hypocrisy of other people, particularly fair-weather friends, faulty family members and, certainly, the pretending found in most churches and schools. Ill treatment is as old as mankind. The first two brothers born into the world, born to parents without navels, one killed the other.

The “costume of compassion” has been placed on society in many forms. It is usually just a veneer, easily recognized, easily penetrated. Senator Reid showed his true feelings towards black people just as much as another Democrat, Margaret Sanger (founder of Planned Parenthood), when she referred to blacks as “weeds”. 80% of all Planned Parenthood abortion clinics are found in black neighborhoods, targeted for black abortions. I will never understand why and how blacks can vote, in lock step, for Democrats when they know, just as well as I know, that white Democrats have a superior feeling towards them. Surely they have heard Hillary and Bill Clinton imitate them in speech patterns which, I am told by people in Arkansas, got Bill many white votes. One of the outstanding university officials, sitting in my house, told me in all sincerity that he believed, “George W. Bush had been coached to speak like a redneck.” Such is the “chorus line” of politicians.

In the fragmented Christian world, the black church is the first victim. My first experience in a black service was as a student in Memphis when I attended black services and learned the art of “hooping”, “squawling”, and other methodical, mystical pseudo-voodoo characteristics the black brought over from Africa and which have been used in the black churches since. Blacks have survived slavery, Jim Crow, discrimination, but their ancient methods of worship still persist. If you listen to a service, you will find the use of drums, or hitting a note on the organ every few seconds, to instill within the audience a medium of activity strange to those who like quiet worship. The holy dance, the use of hand cymbals, modulation of speech and music, is peculiar to most black churches, although some of this activity exists in the white Pentecostal denominations. Obama is very familiar with this type worship but he has tried to separate himself from the black worship service. The frenzy and emotion is the “gravy” of the black experience, along with the “meat” of the sermon. This is the art form our black ancestors brought over with slavery. This is their “chorus line”.


Attending many civic club meetings, speaking at some, I found it was usually a group of concerned men who come together to sing, eat, burp and then go home. This is the “chorus line” of the service community, and I was one of them for many years.

My last civic club meeting, I was asked by a local member of the local Lion's Club to speak. I had been turning down all speaking engagements for many years, it's just too much of a hassle, but he would not give up so I told him I would speak on the comparison of the North and South Poles. As always in travels, I used one camera for slides just in case of this. So, I had some beautiful slides of both the Arctic and Antarctic. My assistant, an older woman, helped me prepare my slide projector for the presentation. We selected the slides which she thought were most beautiful. She described each one to me and gave the ones I would use in the projector a number. I memorized the number along with the photograph. So, when he came to take me to the downtown restaurant location where the Lions met, I told him all he would have to do is just give me the number.

I have seen a pride of lions in Africa, laying, always sleeping with their feet in the air. This Lion's Club was almost as unconcerned about their speaker. Although I like good food as well as anyone, I told them to bring me just a sandwich and cup of coffee because I did not like to entertain people who get a kick from watching a blind person eat. I remember how I was dressed, a beautiful light tan suit and beautiful tie, and I believe I made a most impressive presentation. I wound it up by saying, “I want to express my appreciation for your interest in the blind. The photographs you have seen today, at the top and bottom of the world, were made by a blind man. Your speaker is totally blind, spending many years preparing to take care of the eyes of the public. His message to you, 'There are none so blind as those who will not see and who do not appreciate the greatest gift God gave other than life itself.'”

When I returned to the house, my excited assistant said, “Oh, I know they were all so happy over your presentation.” I said, “Never again.” I said to her, “Would you believe that an organization of men dedicated to helping the blind would not even show one minute of gratitude to a totally blind, 100% disabled, service connected, medical officer veteran?” I said ,”Not one walked up and said, 'We thank you, you are an inspiration to us.'” I have been asked to speak many other times to civic clubs but I give the same answer always, “No.” The games people play are not only at the churchhouse, the courthouse, the schoolhouse, the civic clubhouse, or your house. It will be interesting to see how these game play in the “chorus line” when we are asked to give our credentials at final inspection by the Creator of the Universe. The soul is the only thing we possess that will never die (John 11:26).

For the disabled, for the disenfranchised, for those in despair over conditions in this world, there are 8,885 promises in God's word and, so far, he has kept every promise. His greatest, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hbr 13:5).