The Call For Help

I am part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.

The decision has been made. I am a disciple of

Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,

back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present

makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,

small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams,

chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,

promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by

presence, lean by faith, love by patience,

lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace

is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my

road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few,

my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought,

compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,

diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the

presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy,

ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander

in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until

Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know,

and work until He comes. And when He comes to get

His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.

My colors will be clear.

The author of the above narration is unknown. Believed to be a missionary to Africa, anyway, this person knew the Christian message. General Stonewall Jackson, a devout Christian said, "I can go into battle without fear, with the assurance of knowing that he knows the number of my days. Both  George Bernard Shaw and Mark Twain, wrote about Joan of Arc, now a saint, in the fourteenth century, knowing her devotion to God and country. Before being burned at the stakes, she made the statement, "I am not afraid... I was born to do this." There are only two groups of people in the world, those who are desperate and know it, and those who are desperate and don't know it. 

Most of the worlds population lives close to water. For years, this writer has owned a home right on the ocean. Often, I cannot see what's going on, but I can hear activity on the beach as someone needs help. This past weekend, one of my friends heard a women calling for help as she struggled in the surf. A surfer with a surfboard got to her first. Does the average church member (those who have heard the truth) actually realize the desperation of needing help? Salvation? Does the average church member actually realize or is even concerned for the needs of his fellow man, who are in an eternally lost condition? Those who do not know enough to even call for help. Those of us who are saved usually think of these indifferent, desperate people who do not know their needs as living in third world countries. Many times they are on the street were we live, many times in the very house in which we live. 

The Jewish people thought they were exceptional, Gods chosen. There were no questions asked, no rituals performed. At the "Passover" of the death angel, they were saved simply by having some animal blood over the door. At the red sea, they all passed through on dry land. It was Gods business, he is "boss", he chose to save them. It was in the wilderness that he tested them. And only a reminisce of the two and a half millions who left Egypt, actually made it to the promise land. 

There was still a time of testing. Only once, never again, this reminisce, following Gods instructions, marched around one city until the walls fell, and they were told to kill everyone. This writer once asked a Theologian, "Why did god require so much killing in the Old Testament? Even women- children- animals." I will never forget his answer "And every time they failed to do so, they lived to regret it." 

God knows what he is doing, the most difficult thing for the human mind to accept, the sovereignty of God. 

Do we actually think, 21st century Americans, a nation so blessed, that God is going to put up with our foolishness? This matter of abortion, sex selection of babies (over 160 million girl babies have been killed worldwide, in preference to male babies). 

This writer has been to China three times since its re-opening. The first time I was there, right after the Nixon visit. My guide told me that the creeks have been clogged with female babies because parents wanted male babies (parents in China are under the one child rule). He told me that his own sisters husband, had strangled five of her female babies. 

I don't know what has happened in recent years, but when I was there in the 70's and 80's, soon after their birth, children became hostages of the state. All mothers and fathers had jobs, were at work. The state took care of babies- children- young people. I visited the "Children's Palaces", were the state trained the Chinese children... Great "fields" of boys in lines, doing calisthenics (gymnastic exercises).

Communism always accommodates the need of the state. When this writer was in the Balkans, at that time controlled by communist Russia, women were paid to produce children... Double payment for twins. 

Do we really think that God will put up with this silliness- nonsense of same sex marriage? Think of it, the most Catholic country in the world, Ireland, voting to legalize same sex marriage. I have not heard a peep from the Catholic hierarchy. In fact, this writer is totally gassed- antagonized- astonished, that it was the Catholic vote, along with the Baptist, who put Obama into office twice (Catholic's and Baptist's are Americas largest denominations. Can control the politics of this nation). 

Both Catholics and Baptists, perhaps so more than any other denominations, are suppose to be Gods promoters of family. What has happened to common sense, what has happened to the leadership of these two great denominations?.. Their silence is deafening. Standards are now so low, anything goes, even at the church house.

 America, more so than any other nation on Earth, calls for help. Ready always to go to war. There has been the war on poverty, war on drugs, we have spent billions looking for a magic pill in our war against cancer. We have more poverty- drugs- cancer than ever. America has lost all wars since WWII. When will we recognize the source of all help? I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep (Psalm 121 1-4). 

#1739

Boldness on Veterans Day

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,

Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)

And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:

That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 2:4-10King James Version (KJV)

On memorial day, when we know that freedom is not free, we need true liberation in our thinking. In the politically correct world in which we live, no one wants to challenge anything anymore. You cannot be both a citizen and a person, a citizen has limitations, your person-hood goes on forever. The person-hood of your life gives you passion and purpose. Veterans, those who gave their last measure of devotion, their life, thought it was all worth wild. The walking wounded will never forget their comrades with whom they had the "boldness" to serve. 

Writers have tried to romanticize war. Politicians have used war as stepping stones in their career. Stock markets thrive from the demands of war. Fortunes have been built from the spoils of war. AND, few human minds have the ability to comprehend the destruction of war, mentally and physically. 

In 1976, there was a 7.5 earthquake in Guatemala. This writer was in Guatemala city a few months after the earthquake. One does not have the words to describe such destruction... Streets, bridges, railroads. I walked down the street in Guatemala city, too many hazards for traffic, with propped up storefronts, merchants still trying to make a living selling on the street. In the best of times, life in third world countries, is tough. But when the Earth has shaken everything apart, it takes a long time to put everything back together. In the meantime, life must go on. 

The first great question God asked a man, asked of the first man born into this world, God, asking Cain about his brother Able, "And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?" (Genesis 4:9). And Cain gave the eternal answer, "Am I my brothers keeper?" Wars like earthquakes, like all other disasters, even like murders, mayhem, are inescapable "shadows of life. Sane human beings do not want problems of any type. Shelter ourselves from problems, protest fellow human beings who bring problems. But, few escape the warp and woof of living. I get so tired of young people talking about making a contribution to the world through their education, through their ministry, Through toil of some type. Most of us just do the best of what we can with what we have. Most of us are just thankful that their are those with the expertise, training intentional fortitude, "guts and spine," To face the challenges of the world in-spite of everything, or anything. 

This old blind veteran has "sensed" many veteran facilities. It is always the same, well paid government bureaucrats "just going through the motions." Once in a while you will find an administrator, nurse or doctor, who actually takes the job of "veteran care" seriously. I don't believe I have ever heard one pleasant remark in a VA facility. A pastor who drove my car to the VA hospital Durham NC many, many, times, said, "they may smile, but they are not happy." Ineptness walking on two legs. 

This totally blind, 100% disabled service connected medical officer, appreciates every good thing that has ever been done for him, but I have sensed the worst in military hospitals... As a staff officer doctor myself, and more recent years as a patient, 

I can truthfully say that the Army did everything possible to save a shatter of vision in one eye. I spent so much time in Army and civilian hospitals... In Boston, the best specialist in the world. At the VA hospital Durham NC, since one of the best eye centers is right across the street at Duke University, the best eye specialists there treated me. 

I was on the second floor of the eye center, just across the street from the VA hospital. My head was completely bandaged from all the surgery. But I could hear the Vietnam protesters yelling outside the VA hospital. These protesters were students from nearby Chapel Hill, from which I graduated, and the several colleges in the Durham area. I said to a black nurse who was " supposedly" taking care of me, "They have no idea what they are doing." She said. "I understand you are a Veteran from across the street, and I want you to know right now that I hate veterans." Then, she proceeded to spit right in my face. I think I was in shock for quit a while. Shortly after the incident, my mother and sister who were worn out from driving from such a long distance, came into the room and I told them what had happened. Of course, they threw a fit, and demanded that my doctor (Banks Anderson, Jr) come immediately. I had been a patient of both Dr. Anderson Jr, and Dr Anderson Sr. Two of the best specialists in the country. Of course he assured them that it would not happen again. That this nurse would be reprimanded. I have no idea what happened. I wrote a letter to the administrators at Duke about the incident, BUT, Duke like every other entity in America, that gets funds of any type from the government, is going to stay within the boundary of political correctness. 

A good example, on this Memorial Day weekend, when the "normal" people have a holiday (this old veteran and his assistant will be working) when the wheels- heels, élites, are enjoying their booz and buffet, just remember, the veterans now, just as always, are happy to get the scraps from the table. My citizenship- Patriotism, in my country, does not end at my clinical death. My person-hood continues eternally. 

#1737

Memorial Day- a Veterans Twilight Years

Just a song a twilight, when the lights are low, 
And the flick'ring shadows softly come and go, 
Tho' the heart be weary, sad the day and long, 
Still to us at twilight comes Love's old song, 
comes Love's old sweet song.

Behind tall wire fences, tall hedges, and multi-million dollar houses, gated elites  communities, the big deals of our society. The cocktail party circuit, the power brokers of our community, on this Memorial Day, are enjoying life with their outdoor cooking- exotic cocktails. Most of them do not have any military family members to remember, they, and their families, were making the big bucks while the children of the poor hardworking "neighbors" of their nation, were giving life and limb on the battlefield. And, on this Memorial Day, most veterans, like this 85 year old veteran, is working, still making a living. 

Enabling this type patriotism, a government headed by a commander and chief who does not have a valid social security or selective service card. This alleged president is a pretender, a hoax. Using the social security card of a long dead Connecticut citizen. Both president Obama and his wife, lawyers, pretending to be protectors of the constitution, gave up their law licenses, along with their scruples.

A big sign in the veterans hospital, Fayettville NC proclaims "The price of freedom is visible here." Back when this now totally blind veteran had a shatter of vision in the left eye, he could see the phalanx of wheelchairs, real men with white canes, at every veterans facility.  Behind the masks of the people that work there, their hypocritical smiles, just because they smile at you does not mean they are happy (At the VA hospital in Durham, we sat there with numbers, waiting to be called. a battle scarred officer, just ahead of me... Crippled, marks all over his face. I said to the employee, who drew his blood just before she drew mine, "You just saw a real hero." Her reply, "I don't know why you old men do not just go ahead and die.") The employees at most VA hospitals, should just pack up and go home. The doctors at these facilities are required to ask the question "have you considered suicide?" My answer, always, "everyday of my life." (for a very long time, I will confess, I kept a bottle of pills just for that purpose. In my early years of total blindness, loneliness, tribulations and aggravations from every side- no one to assist with anything, I actually thought I could not make it on my own. But, our blessed lord kept reminded me, I AM ALL YOU NEED. I do not believe that god would have condemned me for suicide, nor anyone else that has reached a place who cannot continue with life. I have said that to many family members of friends who took that way out. We know that God forgave Moses, David, Paul, for murder. He is certainly capable of forgiving suicide. It has taken most of my life to fully realize the sovereignty, as well as the mercy- grace, of my creator). 

The Veterans Administration, Government, those of you that pay taxes, would be very happy if all veterans committed suicide. Just think how cheap it is to bury a veteran in a cheap "tin" casket with a flag. compared to giving a veteran the healthcare which he deserves. The taxpayer, in servitude to government- stupid beyond words to describe, goes right along with the support of the unproductive- welfare- entitlements- illegal's- government tax grants, to anyone for anything. Most veterans know that the best men they knew, are already buried.  Until The Korean War, battlefield deaths were buried on foreign soil (126,000). Korea, the government started bringing veterans home for burial (50,000 Korea, 58,000 Vietnam). I was still in service, but in a reserve capacity during Vietnam. I still remember the screams of my neighbor across the street, when her only sons casket was brought into their home. Killed in Vietnam. 

In Shakespeare's "McBeth", lady McBeth was constantly washing her hands after she helped murder the king. She said their was not enough perfume in Persia, water in the oceans of the world, to cleanse her hands from what she had done. WWI, one newspaper headline, "Great Battle Fought, Only One Combatant Killed." Just one man killed, but he was so important to his family. He only had one life also. There is not enough water in the oceans of the world, all the wars in history, to cleanse the hands of warriors, who have ended the lives of their fellow man... No matter the circumstances. During the Civil War during the Battle of Cold Harbor, over 20,000 were killed on both sides. Battle field covered with the bodies of dead soldiers and dead horses. One dying General, who's horse had been shot from under him, was negotiating between the corpses, and one dying soldier said to him "General are we winning?"

With death, you never win. Like the holocaust of Jews in Germany, like the holocaust of the unborn in China and even in America, the killing of gods greatest creation, the human body, is never winning. The human body- the human mind, capable of so much good: capable of so much horror: capable of beautiful words- beautiful music. Capable of so much love, toward everyone because every person is your neighbor, and Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31) Most young men's brains are not fully developed- wired until the age of 25. Young men, casualties of war, capable of so much love. Just think of what it does to young men to see their friends spattered by IUD's on the battlefield. Until WWII, bayonets were often used in warfare. Using the closeness- civility of swords- bayonets- horses, gives an entirely personal appearance to war, rather than the impersonal callousness of drones and bombs, dropped from the air by planes. Can we even imagine what it does to the lives of children? Who want only the security- safety from parents in homes. Again, Jesus told us, that it is better for a person to have a millstone hung around his neck, and dropped into the ocean (Matthew 18:86), then to abuse children, any children, any skin color, even those in so called third world countries. The eliteness at Memorial Day events, those who can afford to take a holiday. Those that make so much money from continuous warfare, do not think of the young men and women, who gave and then gave again, some everything, without any thoughts of discretion. Our fellow citizens living in Multi-million dollar homes, know nothing of communal showers- slit trenches, there is no pleasure in another's pain. But, the very least our fellow citizens can do, is demand that government care for the productive, instead of the unproductive. That in the big-bucks spent on trash television and other shows, should emphasize that lifestyles in America would be far different if not for the sacrifice of those in love with this country- willing to defend her. I have never understood those who get a thrill from sleeping in a tent on a campsite. But, they have the privilege of going inside a building during a storm.  

Those who relax on Memorial Day, do not know the reality of Memorial Day. Just as those who do not observe our lords supper, do not know the reality of redemption- salvation, paid for by the ultimate sacrifice, God himself, taking on the sin of the entire world. 

The only Memorial we are instructed to observe is the remembrance of what Christ did for us on a cross. We remember that his broken body, when we take a small piece of bread, is for our healing (Isaiah 53:5 1 Peter 2:24). In memory, we take a sip of wine "remembrance" of his blood, forgiveness of sin. 

On this Memorial Day, 2015, twilight years, this old veteran remembers those who gave their life for their country (and they had only one life also), as well as remembering, for the Christian, what Christ did for us on Calvary. this is true Christianity, true patriotism, and there is no reason the two remembrances ( in spite of this blarney of separation of church and state ) should not remembered together. 

#1736

Fathers Day and Heros

Nothing between, like worldly pleasure;
Habits of life, though harmless they seem,
Must not my heart from Him e’er sever;
He is my all, there’s nothing between.

There is a balm in Gilead (Jeremaih 8:22). There is a retrovi (rediscovery), magnificence in thinking again of your own father on this fathers day.

My mother and father were singers, at the old family church house, built by my ancestors (1874), They did not just "mumble" the old hymn's, as do most pretending Christians. You could hear them singing above the crowd. Much later in life, in my private practice which I enjoyed for a few years following the military, many members of churches and other communities (and my parents visited churches everywhere), would say to me, "our church revival never got started until your parents came to the meetings, and we could hear them singing."

Perhaps the earliest memory of my own father, was hearing him sing early in the mornings, as he was around the farm, feeding the hogs, work animals, and milking the cows. I can still hear him singing, his favorites, nothing between and, "I'll take my vacation in Heaven." He never took a vacation, in his entire life. He was the workingness man anyone could know. He never had anytime for the "worldly pleasures" of most men such as, hunting, fishing, sports events, he was always busy. could find more work for his sons on a wet day, then most men could find for their boys on a dry day. If nothing else, he would say, "Thomas go to corn-crib and shuck corn." we had a large farm which had been in the family a very long time. Mules or tractor, he would keep us all busy from early morning to darkness. Then, on Saturdays, holidays, he would be up early doing the usual chores (hogs, cows, chickens etc.), and then drive the 5 miles into town, to stand on his feet all day long and cut hair. This he did my entire life. One of the many preachers at his funeral said, "There is no telling how many heads he cut for 10 cents a head during the great depression." Of course his funeral was held at the old family church, with its many additions over the years, which he and my cousins mostly built. I still remember the day that he and I were working on one addition at the church. I was holding up the drywall for him to nail. I said, "why are not others here to help us at the church?" I still remember the tears rolling down his face, as he said, "They don't love our church as much as we do."

Every church member has a 168 hour week. Most think their salvation is adequate just for that one hour on Sunday morning. He believed Christianity involved every hour- second, of every day. Early on Sunday mornings, Winter: building fires in the wood-burning heaters throughout the church. Summer: opening the windows throughout the church in all Sunday school rooms. He would always go the mile to the church to make it comfortable for others. If the weather were so bad that the preacher- pastor could not get there, then he would conduct the service. When I was a child, Church service, only one Sunday a month. But, there was always Sunday school, prayer meetings, visitations, etc. The men of the church were responsible for these services. My father was also chairman of the school board, small- poor country public school. This writer, like his sister and two brothers, like his parents- grand-parents went to this same school for 12 years. I still remember the principal of the school driving to the farm, going up to the field to find my father on the tractor, and discuss problems with him. Often, my father would come to the house, put his toolbox in his truck, and head to the school house to take care of a building. It was much easier for my father and principal to repair something, then to do paperwork and the county finally get around to it.

Once, when I was a student at Chapel Hill, I told the founder of modern education in North Carolina, Dr. Guy Phillips, that story. He said, "Your father might not have been a college graduate but he was a real educator."

Children must have good memories. I so pity those who do not. As poor as we were, dirt road- no power, phone, or running water (the embarrassment of outside bathrooms both at our home and the church). Prominent people would often visit our church because they had heard of its beuty and the great song services there. I still remember the walkers, owners of the Ford dealership. My parents invited them to go to our home for lunch. They hardly knew them, but the Walkers went to our home, and years later, as my patients, they both said to me, "In our many years of church life, that was the first real Christianity we had ever seen."

I remember another time that a couple, the Sassers came to the church, my parents remembered through their ancestors. They invited them to our home for lunch. My mother usually had two large tables of people every church Sunday. In later years, this couple, school teachers, told me the same thing, that they had never forgotten that hospitality.  

At my fathers funeral, packed house, after I had led the family in as the oldest child, one floor reef was brought in late. It was by far the largest there. One of the funeral directors, came over and handed me the card that was on it. I just stuck it in my pocket. Later, a friend read the card to me, "In memorial to the only man I ever knew, in church, or out, whoever spoke to me about the welfare of my soul." The card was signed by an NC state senator.

His last years, my mother having died of cancer at age 62, I would call him and tell him I was coming up for a visit, to take him out to lunch. He was so proud to see me in my Cadillac. My driver would always say, "He will be sitting on the front porch watching for you." He gave me many of the values, that have kept me going during my years of disappointment, blindness. He was the sermon, instead of a message. He was the example of hard work. Disciplined living. I believe he will be sitting on another porch, watching for his four children.  

#1735

The Plight of Phobias

"The only thing to fear, is fear itself." -FDR

John MacDuff, very consoling
Play Audio! Download Audio

   ~  ~  ~  ~

Do not be afraid, for I am with you!

(James Smith, "The Believer's Companion in Seasons of Affliction and Trouble" 1842)

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you!" Isaiah 43:5 

The presence of a friend in trouble is cheering and consoling. But it is too often the case, that our friends, like the friends of Job, prove to be miserable comforters. They do not enter into our troubles--or they cannot help us. The advice they give at times--only aggravates our woe, and adds to our distress. 

But, believer, your God says, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you!" What a thought is this! God, the great, the glorious, the omnipotent Jehovah--is with me!
With me to help me, 
with me to comfort me, 
with me to sanctify me, 
with me to save me, 
with me as a kind benignant Father,
with me in every place, in every trouble, in every conflict,
with me through all my journey and for evermore, 
with me on the bed of sickness,
with me  to hold communion with me,
with me to listen to my sighs,
with me to number my tears, and
with me to secure me from all injury! 

Appearances may be very dark; the night may seem very long; and your pains, weakness, and fears may be many and great. Still, if the Lord is with you, you may sing, "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty--yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!" Habakkuk 3:17-18

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We have published J.R. Miller's insightful short article, "The Blessing of Quietness".

The word phobia added to a word means "morbid fear of." For instance, if you are sensitive to sunlight, you have photophobia: xenophobia, fear of other countries: claustrophobia: fear of small spaces. It is truly amazing what words can do to add to or subtract from ones vocabulary. One political campaign, some years ago, the opponent hired a man to stand at the edge of each of his opponents speeches, and just say these words, "You know that he is an octogenarian." Of course it only meant that the man is 80 years old, but, to the un-initiated, everything is obscure. And the man lost his race because everyone thought he was a pervert of some type. The word fear is used 365 times in Gods word. The 1189 chapters of the bible, the chapter just halfway, Psalm 1:18, the mid verse of the entire bible, " It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." All god requires of us is trust. My question, always, how does anyone live in this world, without being able to trust in God? You certainty cannot trust in anyone else. If you have one friend whom you can trust completely, you are a very blessed person. This writer has always been a loner, perhaps, and because, I learned early in life the heartbreak of betrayal... The fact that I found so few people with whom I could put any trust. You could put your feet under the same eating table with family members your entire life, and still find that you cannot trust them. Particularly when it comes to the division of your parents estate. You can sleep in bed with a wife or husband, and learn later, what real hatred is all about when you go to the divorce court. Or the custody of children.

Even Jesus bride here on earth, his kingdom, his Church, mostly grows with addition and often subtraction, multiplying by dividing. Some of the worst comments I ever heard from people who are supposedly created in the image of God, came from the members of dividing Churches.

For those of us who are disabled, who must depend on others just to stay alive, life's greatest disappointments involve caretakers to whom you pay good money, whom you trust, pilfering through your property and taking your things. For the blind, you never realize your losses. We must cling to the "blessed insurance" that the God we serve is able to take on our fears, just as he is able to take on our needs, that he is able to subtract from the thieves, as well as add to those who have been harmed by theft.

Fear probably adds more stress to the homeostasis of an individual, that any other neuron stimuli. I am convinced that most strokes, most cancer, most heart-attacks, cripple and kill because of stress, and that stress because of fear. Most of the things which we fear, fire- vehicle or plane crashes- heights- depths- starvation- etc, never happen. The Christian, of all people, should not have such fear. He tells us that he knows every sparrows fall, that the very hairs on our head are numbered.
"And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin" (Matthew 6:28). ^" Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" (Matthew 6:26).

Perhaps it was like that with Alexander The Great, or even those troops with General Joseph Stilwell. There is no fear like battlefield warfare. It is beyond my comprehension that parents will spend the time and money, give the loving care which they give to their sons and daughters, and then send them to useless wars, which give great financial profit to the elates who keep them going. These young people, mostly just old enough to get a drivers license, not old enough to drink alcohol, often away from home the first time in their life, never having been exposed to the harshness- brutality of mankind or even animal life on any level, see their friends battered- bruised- butchered, right in front of their eyes. Many are often physically battered themselves, but if not physically disabled, mentally and psychologically disabled for the rest of their lives. And then, the talking heads, people who make more money in one month, than most Americans make in a lifetime, cry great crocodile tears about veterans, and what they have given to their country. The Veterans Administration is the greatest fear of every veteran, the family of every veteran. The most inept agency of federal government it laments about veteran suicide. Face the facts; the VA would like to see every veteran commit suicide... Get them out of the way. It is far, far cheaper for VA and the government to bury every veteran in a cheap casket with a cheap flag, than to give every veteran healthcare and a pension. Believe me, I know. This old blind veteran never got so much as a white cane from the VA. Found my white canes at junk stores. It took 50 years for VA to send me a machine that could read books to me.

The fear for you, the public, your treatment is on the way.

#1734

Mandala

(Search for Completeness)

"Make me a channel of blessing today,
Make me a channel of blessing, I pray;
My life possessing, my service blessing,
Make me a channel of blessing today."


No human being blessed with life, blessed with nominal intelligence, can escape the knowledge of cause and effect, cannot recluse himself from the responsibility of cause and effect. It takes courage to live life. 90% of the Christian faith is just raw courage. In Mexico, in North Africa, and other areas of the world, this writer- world traveler, has seen young men dive from high cliffs into water depths below. This takes courage. As a field grade Army officer, I have seen young men jump from airplanes, hoping that their parachute, prepared by someone else, will open. This takes Courage. In the inter sanctum of the human mind, gods greatest creation, the most amazing thing in life, hope. Most of life's activities, even its sacraments, involves hope. 

Hope is involved in marriage, if it works out, fine, if not, expected.

Hope is involved in rearing a child, especially a strong-willed- mentally challenged- prodigy or precocious child. Most of the geniuses of the world, were unusual children. With parents, it is a matter of working and waiting. 

Hope is involved in investing, stocks, real-estate, inventions, even planting a crop. The greatest investment I ever knew, and I have been a large investor in both stocks and real-estate, was the investment on my parents, in their farm, fertilizer and seed, planting crops. The fertilizer- seed- soil, could produce nothing without god given rain and climate. 

Hope is involved in education, whether grade school or graduate school. The worlds greatest investors- financiers- planners, never went very far in education. They had a drive- mental capacity which ephemera (books and paper) cannot give. A PHD, man or women, without common sense can starve to death in a time of disaster. 

Burying anyone is an act of hope. You think you know, but you never know, the soul condition of the dead. The eternal destination of the soul is within the providence of god and god alone. Many of us, and in fact, most of us, are good pretenders and may have fooled others. Ourselves, we cannot fool. Within the inter sanctum of the mind, our hope is established. Some scientists have tried to measure the weight of the soul. The soul does not have mass- weight- identification. We all have one, and it is what makes us "who" we are. Other body parts can be transplanted. At clinical death, the soul, here now- their then, leaves this worn- torn- used body, and the body is disposed of with hope; resurrected hope. 

All is not well that ends well. You can have a very successful life, living and dying well, by living the simple life... Simple ambitions, simple lifestyle, simple unchallenged job, never wanting more than a simple car- house- clothing. One man said he had no enemies because he had outlived them all. Everyone will love you if you are never a challenge to anyone about anything. If you are just a pushover. 

Science is about investigating the unknown. Untying and looking inside the baggage which everyone carries around. Intelligentsia: medical, psychological- governmental, involves the spending of tremendous funds to uncover the obvious. For instance, the poisons you put into your body, result in slow, if not instant, death. For instance, you cannot bomb into your way of thinking, nationals who have spent thousands of years living their lives a certain way.

When I was a young boy, this was before the military and my time of total blindness, my eyesight was very poor. Back then, parents or teachers, never payed any attention to children s eyes. Especially a child with a good  mind who could learn in spite of anything. I was never chosen on a team to play ball because I could not see how to hit a ball. I had to memorize everything the teacher said because I could not see the chalkboard. It was only when I went to get a drivers license that my myopia (nearsightedness) was discovered, I went to an optometrist for eyeglasses and the world became, in the truest sense, a cause and effect. I could see leafs on trees. Could see as well as hear, birds in the air. 

There are images, from the eyes into the brain, which I can never escape. I will never escape the images of the black- segregated school houses of my youth. Those framed buildings, painted white, with their outside toilets and hand water pumps. While, right down the road, as poor as they were, brick school houses for the white children. And, we expect the black race to forget this disparity. I will never forget images of refuges at border crossings in third world countries. The border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, fathers and mothers with all their earthly belongings in large sacks over their shoulders. Frail shoe-less children, bare feet on icy roads. This writer, raised in the poverty of Eastern North Carolina, dirt road, no power- phone- water lines, working in the hot sun an entire day, in green tobacco to get paid one dollar. Could I ever forget the hard work and sweat of my parents? I still remember their thrill in selling their first tobacco for fifty-cents a pound.

The picture I paint of life is not all darkness. Thank god I lived in a time of beautiful music, even beautiful movies- love stories. Love stories between real men and real women... None of this same sex marriage insanity. 

Can I describe the person I would like to have been? Firstly, good looking... Looks will get you further than anything else. Secondly, a pedigree of wealth and influence... Ancestral prominence. Life is hard enough at best. But is a real tragedy on such an uneven playing field. This has been my main quarrel with god. It would be so much easier to live the Christian life, without trials and problems. If only god would "quick fix everything with prayer." If only god were a bell-hop type deity... just come running when we need him. If only I could hold onto god in one hand, and the world with the other. If only warfare against Satan could be accomplished from an air-conditioned foxhole... Demanding nothing. God wanting nothing from me except pretension. If only I could live like my family, my associates, my fellow church members, and most of my friends, just playing games with god. Nothing settle, nothing complete. 

#1733

Need for Shepherding

"Savior, like a shepherd lead us,  much we need thy tender care;  in thy pleasant pastures feed us,  for our use thy folds prepare.  Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus!  Thou hast bought us, thine we are."

He will carry the lambs in His arms!

(Arthur Pink)

"He will feed His flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young." Isaiah 40:11 

Our Lord has . . .
  many weak children in His family,
  many dull pupils in His school,
  many fearful soldiers in His army,
  many lame sheep in His flock. 
Yet He bears with them all, and casts none away.

By Christ's gracious aid, the believer is preserved from being totally submerged by his doubts and fears. 

By His renewing operations, the spark of faith is maintained, despite all the fierce winds of Satan which assail. 

By His mighty enabling, the sorely harassed and groaning Christian is kept from sinking in abject despair. 

By His quickening power, hope is still kept alive, and the voice of prayer is still faintly heard.

There is no danger of the individual saint being overlooked amidst the multitude of supplicants who daily and hourly present their various petitions--for an infinite Mind is as capable of paying the same attention to millions, as if only one individual were seeking its attention!

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are . . . Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

 Dr. Morris, world traveler, has seen shepherds in the 20th century. Both in Africa, and the Scandinavian countries. I remember talking with a Shepherd near Bergen Norway. He talked about how dumb sheep really are, "That he must keep his eyes on them all the time." Of course, Christianity was a foreign language to him, but I said, "We are all so much like dumb sheep, so easy to stray, we so need direction."

In my personal life, I so need direction, so wish I had a shepherd tell me what to do with most decisions I have to make.

I was talking with two officials from a local University just yesterday. I said, " I get so tired of these paid advertisements about how people should respect veterans, do you know the VA pays the NFL and other sports programs to tell the public how they should respect veterans? The VA does not respect veterans at all, they talk about the disgrace of so many veterans committing suicide (3 each day). The VA would like it if all veterans committed suicide, it would be so much cheaper for the country to buy a cheap 'tin' casket and a flag, and burry every veteran. Instead of the continued expense of sick care, such as it is, at a veterans hospital." I have written about this before, and will not go into it again. The insult to the veteran, and the embarrassment to the nation, is the VA "sick care." Each time a VA doctor asks me, a totally blind- 100% disabled- Medical officer veteran, if I have any thoughts of suicide, my reply always, "everyday." But that gives me the opportunity such as the opportunity I get in every area of life, to present my Christian testimony. Because, without flinching, "my faith keeps me going." I did not wear the uniform, to get free healthcare. In fact, I keep paying for my healthcare. Not that I have not paid for VA care, but my civilian doctors want me to keep coming to them.

In the poverty ridden home were I grew up, and the images just as vivid now in my blinded eyes, as it was as a child when I could see, there was a picture which my parents had acquired early in their marriage, of Jesus carrying a small lamb next to his heart. I used the scripture above, I would always say in prayer at any church or institution were I was asked to pray, that we can "find grace to help in time of need." Our faith is all based on grace and I so need that grace to walk blinded in faith. "For we walk by faith not by sight" (Corinthians 5:7)

#1732

Narcissism

Vanity and narcissism — the compulsive need to be admired and praised — undermine one's courage, for one then fights on someone else's conviction rather than one's own.

    Rollo May - Man's Search for Himself (1953)

Most of us make the mistake of weighing and measuring others with the same scale and yardstick that we measure and weigh ourselves. When this writer lies down to die, he wants to think and remember that every fellow human being he ever met, anywhere, on his many trips around the world, even among his most personal associates and family members, that in the souls of them all, whichever way they went, Heaven or Hell, that their was some goodness in the soul of all of them. Please don't let me think that I was narcissistic enough to judge anyone else, when I was only a sinner saved by grace. 

When Hitler started his book burning, attempting to cleanse the third right, everything bad in his nation, the first book on his list was the biography of Helen Keller. There have been many great person hoods in the history of the world. But, perhaps no person as great as Helen Keller... A women born deaf, and blind. Most of us who heard her speak, could not understand anything she said. But, other than Jesus himself, few people have had the influence on the lives of others that she had. 

Is it a coincidence that she is buried in floor of the National Cathedral, in Washington DC, right next to president Woodrow Wilson, who has been declared the most Narcissistic man who ever lived. It has been said that president Wilson was so narcissistic, that he wanted to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral. A more recent president, William Clinton, is said to be just as narcissistic... That he wants to be the commanding prescience in every room that he enters. We have all known people so narcissistic, that way, because they were blessed with good looks, A truly gravatosk personality, or had in some way become powerful because of money, or ancestry, or brain accomplishment. Lets face it, their are those who just stand out above the crowd. 

God despises pride- narcissism, he allowed the children of Israel to wonder around and then die, for forty years in a wilderness desert in order to "humble" them. Jesus, God- man, God who put on a tent of human flesh and lived among us, said in the most famous sermon ever preached, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).  Paul said, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves" (Philippians 2:3). Would it not make 21st century Christians, Christians so despised by the world, feel better, if Jesus, when harassed by Pilate, and his unlawful judgment, had done some small miracle, such as a swarm of bees going in circles around Pilate's head, and showing the accursed Roman leader, as he has always shown the world, just who is "boss." But would it have made any difference? Those Romans who arrested him in Garden  of Gethsemane saw him restore the ear to the servant of Malchus which Peter had cut off with his sword, and it did not seem to have any affect. Jesus broke up every funeral procession he ever met, healed the sick, fed thousands, with one boys lunch, still he had very few followers. I am convinced that only his resurrection  made an eclylsmic change in the lives of  his disciples.  Jesus, Paul, saints throughout history, "those of whom the world is not worthy" (Hebrews 11:38), were humble in their greatness. Many humble grandparents, teachers, pastors, neighbors, have died never knowing their influence on someone's life. Those who have had the greatest influence on this old blind veterans life, have not been people with power or money, but those with a humble and contract spirit.  

This old soldier found that veterans don't talk about the war, they just get over it. The healing profession should be more humble, our immune system is all we have going for us. The poisons we put in our body from most doctors, generally do more harm than good, shutting the healing process down. Effectively killing the kidneys and liver. This old veteran, world traveler, is made happy knowing the enjoyment of life by others, than in the darkness- loneliness- exasperation of his own. I have concurred the feeling that I had contributed something to the world. I believe there is healing in forgiveness. I have forgiven the employees whom I was paying good money to help me, as they were stealing from me. I have forgiven the many dealings with people who I knew had only one thing on their mind. Whether a real-estate transaction, car repair, or even shoe repair, "how much money can I get out of him." It was my business that I have lived so frugally, never bought anything unless it was on sale. I once found a Kennedy silver half dollar in the mud, it was so ugly, but I washed it and it shined. That is my hope and joy. I have been so rotten and dirty, like everyone else in the mire. But, Jesus took me up and washed me of all my narcissism, even my sinful nature. 

#1731

Gawking

"Calvary covers it all,

My past with its sin and stain; My guilt and despair Jesus took on Him there, And Calvary covers it all."

At the heart of liberty, is the ability to make decisions because of free will, the liberty given to man by god who makes the ultimate decision about everything. MAN PLANS, GOD LAUGHS.

The writer is a blind veteran, often in contact with the BVA (blind veterans association). In talking with one of the officials, a much younger veteran, he said, "I see you are from North Carolina." We found that we were reared in nearby counties, that he knew some of my relatives, the Rains family from Princeton NC (my paternal grandfathers sister, was a well known member of the Rains family). He further told me how he had lost his eyesight, while in the Air force, traveling on a highway which we both knew, a horrendous curve in the highway which we both knew, the location of many terrible highway wrecks, he was a survivor of a multiple collision at that curve. But lost his eyesight. It was amazing that there were so many traffic hazards made by men, men falling under the spell of politicians... Politicians indebted to a vote-getter and party-giver. North Carolina roads were known to be under the purvey of politics. 

"The Democrat party controlled everything in North Carolina for 140 years...All roads, all the people who worked on those roads, you could not get a job working on roads in North Carolina unless you were a democrat, a job in a hospital- school teacher- post office, etc. To this day, Democrat controlled counties, not even a job driving a school bus."

This BVA employee- blind veteran told me that his worse adjustment was the gawking of the public, even his own family, he said, "I was always an accomplished athlete, well mannered with great potential, and now I'm like a lepers, citizens gawking at me"

This has always been the plight of the disabled, The gawkers- starrers do not think anything bad will ever happen to them, and any veteran can tell you that no one much cares. Oh, like the church, there is those words of pretending. How many disabled people do you see at your church? Jesus loved the disabled, lepers. Most of his attention- miracles were spent on them. In the 21st century, there are other sounds for justice and freedom. At the state-house- courthouse- church house- even at your house the 21st century attitude towards the disenfranchised is "political correctness." On the talk shows- political reports, the "talking heads", speak of race- sex- gender- discrimination. But never go near the topic of bigotry toward the disabled... The nations largest minority. 

Life is not a destination, but a long rough road. There can be an unexpected curve in anything. There can be an unexpected "wreck" on any highway. 

One half of the nations population already has cancer. It is believed that in 20 years the entire population will be cancer ridden. When I was in school, just 50 years ago, cancer and diabetes were rare diseases. Diabetes is the disease of rapid aging, Cancer, a disease of just living. We know that, the prevention of cancer involves 3 things; nutrition, exercise, and water. We know that sugar "feeds" cancer cells. Sugar is the most addictive substance known to man. Every foodstuff in restaurants now invaded by sugar. Cancer is one of the worst curves in the road. In the case of any downfall, downfall of any type, disease, immorality, habits, there are "sign posts" along the way. Warning you about what is about to happen. With all of the technical knowledge, the bottomless ocean of technology of today's world. The phenomenal money spent on education, people still do not read the sign posts. Like jumping off the Empire State Building, just before hitting the street, all jumpers- livers think, "so far so good." 

At the heart of liberty, freedom of choice, knowing the absolutes of right and wrong, everyone wants to jump into shadows of grey...Even knowing what to do, even wanting to do . And yet deciding to take the low road instead of the high road, paying no attention to sign posts, such as one like "deer crossing." Most of the millennial generation are more interested in animal life, for instance deer or turtles, than human life. At nearby Topsail beach NC millions were spent on a Turtle Rescue and Rehabilitation center. This blind veteran never had one minute of rehabilitation to assist me with my life as a blind person. This blind veteran was not even supplied with a white cane from the Veterans Administration. The Veterans Administration pays radio, T.V, advertising, purporting interest in veteran suicides (3 veterans commit suicide everyday) THE VA WANTS VETERANS TO COMMIT SUICIDE. A CHEAP TIN CASKET WITH A FLAG IS MUCH CHEAPER THAN A VETERANS HEALTHCARE FOR MANY YEARS. 

Stroke has moved into the second cause of death. Most Americans think stroke only happens in old age, but strokes happen to young people. 

The common denominator in the risk of all your problems involves just one person, you. I have very clear images in my mind of my problems, me. It was always a problem with me of clinical depression which no one recognized, family, school, military, etc. Clinical depression is what cause my social and even marital problems. With the problems that afflict all of us, that our fellow man only recognizes- appreciates accomplishments. We can easily get trampled in the rat race toward the finish line. In my lifetime, schooling, military, one recession after another, the financial harshness of me-ism ( everyone looking after his own interest) it is almost impossible to maintain financial sanity. I have lost more money with wealth advisors than I ever gained through them. Every stock-broker, only one philosophy, if you have a hole in your roof just drill a bigger hole in your floor. 

When your fellow man, even your friends and your family. are gawking at your life, finding fault with your life, get over it. The message was given to us long ago, it has never failed, take the weight off your shoulders and put it on the shoulders of Jesus... He is always at the cross roads, the curves of your life, before you get there. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls" (Matthew 11:29). "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you" (Peter 5:7).

#1731