Holy Hug

Etiquette in greeting is as much a mystery as it is a historical fact. I often wondered how the early cave men greeted one another, probably with a grunt and a slap by the head. More civilized and gentile methods of greeting punctuate recent history. The hand shake is the most popular generously practiced gesture today in the Western world. In the Muslim world, it is a matter of bowing with a slight genuflect. I have actually seen uniformed guards kiss one another on the lips. In some areas of the world, the practice of kissing on each cheek is observed. In America, the Quakers popularized the shaking of hands and were known as the Shakers. The Catholics use the Holy Kiss on the cheek, many Protestants use the embrace.

A widely publicized photograph in 1936, showing Eleanor Roosevelt rubbing noses with a leader of New Guinea caused much discussion throughout America. Would it have been better to have the New Guinea kowtow to her, kneeling down with his head at her feet? Of the thousands of societies and languages throughout the world, most have their own gestures of affection and recognition, formal and informal. In this country, starting with the blacks, we have people touching one another with fists at the knuckles, called “pound”. This might be readily acceptable these days when the necessity for not spreading germs is so important. It still bothers me to be eating in a restaurant, very much using my hands, and someone walks up to greet me with an outstretched hand for a hand shake.

I'm a hugger. Whether relatives and friends like it or not, I like to hug, which I feel is a sign of real affection. I found in my years of dealing with patients, so many women of every age, and so many elderly men really did appreciate a hug from their doctor. These days when there is such a phobia about showing affection to children, most adults are afraid that someone will accuse them of pedophilia. It is much easier and safer to pet an animal than to pet a child. Most children hunger for the act of affection. In dealing with older women, wives of busy husbands and mothers of busy children, I often felt that the mother was suffering from lack of affection. Oh, how they responded to a hug from their doctor.

The Holy Hug is the greatest salutation and the greatest goodbye one human being can give to another.

Babies will actually die without human touch and human affection. One hundred years ago, about 99% of babies in orphanages died before they were 7 months old. They died not from infectious diseases or malnutrition, but simply from marasmus, a lack of touch. When babies were removed from these large, clean but impersonal institutions where they received physical nurturing along with formula, the marasmus reversed. They gained weight and finally began to thrive.

Perhaps you have heard of the famous psychology experiment involving 1 year old babies. Five are laying on a bed all about the same weight. Five adults stand in front of them talking with them. One adult rubs a sweetened pacifier across the lips of each child. Then all five adults leave the room. Five minutes later the five adults return. Without exception every baby's eyes will go directly to the adult who had the sweetened pacifier.

At O'Berry Center, Goldsboro, NC, disabled babies are left in the care of the state, (My aunt who was a dietitian there told me that many parents who left their disabled child there never returned even once to check on the child.) These were macro cephalics and microcephalic, severely retarded and severely crippled, etc. Older couples in the community, who needed employment were hired to come to the facility as “grandparents” to show affection and attention to these children, which totally changed the development and health of these unfortunate human beings.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. (John 13:35) When Christ spoke these words, he made no exceptions. He did not say, if you are cute, if you are healthy, if you are not disabled, if you are not saved... He told us to love one another.

God is love and 540 times we have the word love in the Bible. Love and kindness are never wasted. They always give back.

“If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone,...” Barbara De Angelis:

In traveling the world (my passport has been stamped in 157 countries), regardless of poverty, skin color, intelligence, language skills, anything else, there was one thing to which every human being I ever met responded: acts of affection and kindness, accompanied by a smile. God knew what He was talking about it when he described the fruit of the spirit of God: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23) I can tell, without fear of failure, the heart attitude of every one I meet, I think is just one of the many things God gives those who have lost one sense (I am a totally blind, 100% disabled, service-connected, medical officer veteran of the Korean conflict). I cannot see their eyes, their body language, but I have a fool-proof detector within my being telling me the quality of anyone.

One of my aunts, a teacher of second grade students said she could tell if parents did not like her through the attitude of their child. Employees, family, tenants, people with whom I do business, I can tell you exactly what they are thinking about me from their voice, and God's revelation to me. You may think that you can hide your inner feelings toward those around you, even your pets, but the mystery of subliminal perception always comes out, usually a “holy hug” is genuine.