The Lamp

In many commentaries I have referred to the fact that both my mother and father came from old, landowning families of the state...hardworking, God-fearing, taxpaying families. Their main interests other than their families and neighbors, the church house and schoolhouse. My mother, like her mother had cooked on a wood stove, I well remember the first electric stove, the first real kitchen sink in the kitchen, the hot water tank. It was a large family style kitchen, my father had repainted everything, new linoleum on the floor. Sitting at the kitchen table, I remember my mother said, “I have always dreamed of a kitchen like this.”

Does everyone have dreams of something better, a fantasy life of some sort. Recently, a contest on the radio, I heard one person answer the question, “which is the largest state?” The answer: England. Another question, “what instrument could a blind person use?” The answer: a sword. Has the human mind been so dumbed down? In many areas of the world, I was astounded to see such crowds on the streets, poverty stricken, hungry and hassled, probably wearing their only clothing (New Delhi, India; Hong Kong, China; Nairobi, Kenya). Do these people dream? Do they ever expect to have anything better? One philosopher said long ago, “you never go any further than your dreams.” From the time I could think, could reason, from the time I had rudimentary knowledge of God's Word, I believed that God had a master plan for my life.

This is the time of year, when on the farm, we start to turn the earth over, preparing for a new crop, new seed in the ground. Everything in life, everything in God's Word, revolves around sowing and reaping. Now, it is done with large tractor plows. When I was a young boy, I “broke the ground” with a large two-horse plow, hard work. After the ground was turned over, you harrowed the land to smooth it out, then rows were run with a plow using sticks which you sighted, giving three points for straightness, as you made rows for planting with the mules. Always, the hard, daily work on the farm, always seeking and expecting God's blessing on the crop (rain and good weather).

I knew there were better things ahead for me. I spent so much of my time reading books about “far away places with strange sounding names.” Looking at magazines showing beautiful homes, beautiful people with beautiful clothing. You are not stuck where you start, with preparation through education and ambition. One man plus God can do anything, I am an example of that. Many years later, years of university education where I earned my way, never had a grant or scholarship, years in the military service where I attained field-grade officer rank, the realization came to me one day that your dreams are not always shared by others, in fact, very few people will understand your dreams. It it is your relationship, trust in God that makes everything possible. Very few will comprehend the private, inner man.

I love history, I love records of my ancestry, the farm land, the antiques, old prints, old photographs. I had married, started to accumulate real estate, one nice home in which we were living. I had found a very old kerosene lamp which had been in my family for many generations, glass and brass. I had spent much time refurbishing the lamp, making it into an electric lamp, had finally found a shade for it. The first time my wife's mother visited her daughter's house, together, they throw out that lamp I do not know what happened to it, and they went to a fashionable store and bought a lamp and other furniture for our home, furniture which had been designed in a Chinese factory.

I said nothing, but I knew that my dreams would never be shared by the one I had chosen to share my life. Later, when she deserted, she, with the help of a couple in our church, moved every piece of furniture from the house, she did leave the doors hanging on the hinges. Her friends, the Jacksons, who owned a moving company, helped her move everything back to her home. It did not bother them in the least to break up mine. A few months after the events, I was asked to serve as honorary pallbearer when Ms. Jackson's casket was rolled into the church. He, later, married again, and experienced the breakup of his home.

Years have passed, I have had the pleasure of a home filled with antiques (there is no better therapy in the world than the refinishing of old furniture, the collecting of items with history), experienced my boyhood dreams of traveling the world, seeing the pyramids, not only on the Nile, but the pyramids in Yucatan and South America, glaciers and gulags, every continent, passport stamped in 157 countries.

I have experienced the boyhood dream of owning much real estate, many businesses, managing a large stock portfolio. More importantly, I have known the joy of giving...churches, colleges, individuals. God wants a surrendered life, including the surrender of dreams. If you are unwilling, and I was very much unwilling, He will teach you the faith of suffering with Him, to depend on Him entirely. That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death (Philippians 3:10)

After the war, I was left with just enough vision, a shadow, to travel the world and accomplish many things which I surrendered to His glory. He must have dominion over everything, including your disability. The most precious, reassuring whisper to ever enter the human mind, “I will take care of everything.” This includes your daily walk and talk, your daily task of living, your business, and your attitude about everything and everyone. Even with the Holy Spirit of God possessing you, you still make your share of mistakes, but His dream for you, His plans for you were predetermined in the council chambers of eternity.

Most lives are a history of brokenness, don't cling to an AstroTurf religiosity, know the thrill of the real thing. I have always known that I could be replaced, God could raise up a stone to make a man better than me. I just hang on with trust, knowing “He is Boss”. 19 year old Joan of Arc, just before she was burned at the stake said, “I was born for such a time as this.”