Sologamy

(Self-marriage or sologamy is marriage by a person to oneself. It is known as a commitment that values self-love, and self-compassion)

 

 

 "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you."

Romans 12:3

 

        We do not pretend that the past does not exist. Most people think history began the day they were born. In 2010, a 30 year old Taiwanese woman married herself. In this world of "me-ism," where even family members, neighbors, fellow fraternal or church members have very little time for one another...a world of "technocrats," happily surviving in a bottomless ocean of technology; thriving, eating alone while staring at a cell phone, living alone only while to stare at a computer screen (most people spend an average of 11 hours a day in front of some sort of screen...television, phone, computer, etc.). Why should so many of us even think of sharing our lives with someone else whom we "might" love? One woman told me that marriage was like a well, "you think it is full of refreshing water, but upon dipping in, you find it is a dry hole." Another woman once told me that marriage was like walking from light into darkness, "if it works out, fine; if not, it was expected."

            It is the graciousness of God, the fulfillment of his divine plan in his creation of the male and female of opposite sex. The fact that there is a physical and sexual need (occurring) between human beings of opposite sex, that we have a world populated by people...not just lower animal life, (is so evident). Our ancestors had the need for one another. Everything in God's book, every law of physics, tells us that there is attraction between opposites. No one has ever been able to completely explain electricity, but we know it is a matter of opposites attracting, just as in the great magnetic fields. Our world stays together because of the power of magnetism, attraction between the Poles of the North and South.

            More important, imbedded in the souls of both male and females, is the ability to love a baby. A twosome that can rear a child. In parting to the male, the genetic promises of maleness (such as boldness). In parting to the female, the wonderful genetic quality of gentleness (nurturing). God will not soon forget, and will "savage" those who have brought disgrace to those who would "unisex" the family. God will make sure we regret putting young/vibrant/feminine girls on the front lines of warfare. From the earliest pages of history, men went to war. Women stayed at home protecting the young, and preserving the home and countryside, knowing that their men-folk had something to fight for: a valued place to return.

            When I was young, the farmhouse where I was reared never had an air conditioning unit, we slept at night with the windows open. There is nothing more unhealthy, in this Doctor's mind, than for someone to sleep under an air conditioning unit. (There is nothing more unhealthy than riding in a plane, air recirculation within it). Away from home while in the military, I could still imagine my laying in bed in my parents' home, listening to the cows munching grass in that great and beautiful pastor across the road in front of our house. I still remember my relatives returning from WWII, telling me how important it was for them to keep in their minds, while on the battlefield, their home-place, their parents, friends, and community. This is what kept them alive, gave them a reason for joining the battle-cry. We have a world now that wants air conditioned fox holes...whether on the battlefield, or the church house. We want comfort, we want fairness, we would rather be diverse than universe. We want to think that everyone possesses our values. When will we learn that there are those in this world who do not WANT our values?

            When this world traveler watched human beings marching in great communist military parades, whether in Russia, China, or any other totalitarian country, I was increasingly aware that there are so many people who just WANT to be told what to do. A person who marries herself, or himself, will never have interference from a companion, will never have the aggravation or risk-taking of child rearing. The Old Testament, the Jewish Covenant Laws, contain over 600 commandments. Moses broke them down into ten. They could not follow 600, or any lesser number. Jesus, putting on a tent of human flesh, dwelling among us, broke all these commandments down into two: Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (Matthew 22:40)

          Remember this, you only go around once. Life is not a dress rehearsal. You may think that others care as much about your life as you do. Your parents usually will while you are young, but as you get older, as you begin to exert your God-given self-will, even parental love and adoration will fade. The mortality rate is still 100%. According to a very accepted pattern/manual/accepted formula, Even the healthiest of us begin to die after maturity. Today is the best day you will ever have, you will never look as good again as you do today. You will never be as smart as you are today. Life is a downward work-in-progress. Consider yourself blessed if you were fortunate enough to be reared by loving parents, or to have found, in some manner (even online), a member of the opposite sex with whom you have complete trust; Even more blessed, is to have children, honoring your DNA, and honoring our blessed lord who chose them for life.