Electric Sofa

Just as death has become so sanitized, one of my friends, who is a funeral director, said many of the wealthy families do not even go to the funeral home to make a casket selection anymore. They just call and say, “I'm sending down some clothes, use next to the cheapest thing you have because the casket will be covered with the church pall anyway.” Since only the family will go to the cemetery, no one sees how cheaply the family member is buried. He said, however, they never say the cheapest, they say NEXT to the cheapest. He said the families who can least afford the expensive burials are the ones who go to the funeral home, make the selections and actually show love and concern for the deceased. He said, many of the wealthier families, never even look at the deceased and the entire matter has become just perfunctory.

Since I am totally blind and have not seen a newspaper in 40 years, I do listen to the obituaries on a radio which reads the newspaper and I noticed that a large percentage of deceased people are now cremated. This seems to be the preferred method for many people to dispose of their family members bodies. Since we, as a nation, as a people, even as a 'supposed' people of faith, have just made a 'fast-food' determination for our lives. I can remember when church members were always taken to the church for their funeral. I have stopped going to family funerals because they have all gotten so cheap that they no longer go to the blessed church where the member had served faithfully, but rather just have the service in the funeral home; sanitized, less scrutinized and now, I am not ashamed to criticize. I feel any Christian who has served the church their entire life, should have the blessed privilege of the final salutation in God's house where their worship and eternal security had been finalized.

As young school students, usually around the 6th grade, our teacher always arranged a field trip to Raleigh to visit the state capital, museum, etc. Back then, the governors were honorable men, not shameless thieves such as recent occupants of the 'Gingerbread House'. The governor always took time to shake the hands of the students, when they filed through his office. We would go to Central Prison, where a guard would show us the electric chair in which capital murderers were put to death. Like other deaths, already described, it has all been so sanitized now, and the death, even for a murderer is made nice and easy, just by the insertion of a needle. In Florida, the electric chair became a real problem, because it 'barbecued' some prisoners on their way to complete emulsification in Hell. Because of the grilled death, the chair at the Sing Sing prison in New York was called “Old Sparky”. These methods of putting to death the capital offenders of society were very effective to young people, much more than being put to 'permanent sleep' by the insertion of a needle. I am convinced that the guillotine (the ancient French method of beheading prisoners) or the still military practice of the firing squad (one convicted with the sentence of death, blindfolded, and 6 of his fellow soldiers firing a rifle, 5 with blanks and only 1 with a bullet so that no one ever knew who really did the killing) would perhaps cause some greedy politicians and others to hesitate before lying, cheating and stealing from the public.

I am suggesting a very economical solution for those convicted and sentenced to death; the use of an electric sofa, instead of an electric chair, whereby several can be put to death at once with less cost. For instance, yesterday a congressman, Representative William Jefferson, was convicted of 11 of a 16 count indictment for corruption; Mr. Bernie Madoff, who eats better than I do for the rest of his life in prison, should also sit on this sofa. Along with the former Secretary of the Treasury under ex-president Bush, who may even find himself on the sofa, Henry M. Paulson who is reported to have taken $4.7 trillion from the Federal Reserve bank in Richmond, for his own use, and God only knows how much more for the use of his associates at Goldman Sachs. Mr Paulson, a member of the Christian Science church, along with Baptist Jefferson and the Jewish Mr. Madoff, would probably have nice internments. Inching closer to the electric sofa, the present Secretary of the Treasury, Mr. Timothy Geithner (Treasury Secretary, yet unable to pay his own taxes) and the un-seated governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich. (2nd Serbian to be elected governor in the United States) I firmly believe that a few people getting their 'just rewards' on the electric sofa, would ease the temptation of many others to rob the hard working people who were foolish enough to put them in office and might be the most effective 'change' in the history of politics.

Another electric sofa could be used very effectively at the United Nations building in New York, a building which has been almost useless for anything else. In the anxiety and anxiousness for 'ethnic cleansing' and peace around the world, seating such tyrants as Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe, who has ruined, murdered and robbed the country which, at one time, was the 'bread basket' of Africa; Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who again, was installed as the leader of Iran, who has murdered his way back into power; Hamas co-founder, Mahmoud al-Zahar, who has turned ancient biblical Gaza, which hard working Jews had converted into an agricultural paradise, but were foolish enough to vacate, leaving behind 25 Synagogues, which were immediately destroyed, agricultural equipment and greenhouses (destroyed), by these terrorist infected Hamas/Palestinians, into a launching pad for missiles directed at the very people who have foolishly exchanged land for peace; Vladimir Putin, former KGB terrorist, trying to turn Russia back to the USSR threat; Hugo Chávez, dictator of Venezuela, wanna be dictator of all of South America; North Korea's “god” figure, Kim Il-sung who will die happy when he throws some nuclear missiles in every direction, while surrounding himself with the Nordic females flown in each week; and certainly the Castro Brothers of Cuba. A public electrocution on the electric sofa in the main assembly hall of the UN building would probably do more for world peace than all the billions of taxpayer dollars with which the US has tried to increase its influence throughout the world.

Unscrupulous, incorrigible politicians who have a 'winning way' of getting elected (I have never known a conman I did not like) and then by 'hook and crook', trying to stay elected. (most politicians, instead of taking care of government business, spend their entire hours day and night that they are awake, just raising the millions of dollars necessary to stay in power) Power means money and security for their life and the lives of their families. (the Clinton's reported an income of $107 million since leaving office) I have never known an elected politician, in office or out of office, who did not get high paid appointments to boards, unbelievable fees for speaking, and selling of books. (which some people are stupid enough to buy) There is no humility among politicians just as there is no honor among thieves.

The most dangerous virus to infect human physiology is the 'Potomac microbe', which can turn an otherwise decent human being into a money grabbing, notoriety graveling, media darling who had rather enjoy the 'heaven' he has found on junkets and attention of lobbyists, than the 'good name' that he treasured when at the bottom of the ladder. Family, friends, and faith, mean nothing to a politician who has sold his soul for a saucer of pottage.

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold. The rich and the poor have this in common, The LORD is the maker of them all. A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished. By humility and the fear of the LORD Are riches and honor and life. Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; He who guards his soul will be far from them. (Proverbs 21:1-5)